The Tragedy of the Heart

Invented by another writer here in the cafe, you take one line of poetry from each piece you write and combine to make something fresh. See if you like their idea

 

Why do most cry

Urging self to push beyond the unseen, unreached and unknown

Surrendering to us

That is the sobering part

They tried to scratch past surfaces.

 

 

So, You want Me to love Her!?

 

 

Please, avert your gaze before it is too late

Life finally merciful to all

'What will keep them 'part, our guidance is in vain'

Redetermination stood

Stars silently shine like eyes always spying

Dances of rain cry down

Betraying Confiding Masking

Swishing, swaying, becoming

the sound of overdue laughter

Daggers shot from the arrow of curiosity cripple my plea

A hair short

A farewell is but only a farewell

 

I want to know
My tomorrow and yours

Must it be just beyond my grasp

all I do is turn around and see the future is all around me

 

 

So, I bit my lip and did

Here is a tale with two as a cast

I took a final satisfied look before closing the door

Sounds of Melodious laughter tug me below

I see the paradox of exotic

I am reaching for something

Scrambling for a hand to hold

Author's Note

Welcome to comments and critics. What do you think?

Reviews

[Dizzy-Izzy]

What do I think? I love this.......

"I want to know
My tomorrow and yours
Must it be just beyond my grasp
all I do is turn around and see the future is all around me"

Yes I can see the future around me, but the only thing that changes is the face I see in the mirror. Time marches on and all I do is get older... ... ...

"I took a final satisfied look before closing the door"

What did you see on the other side?

I am afraid to look... afraid of what I might see through the door, fear that my satisfaction waits for me in a place I can't ever go.

"Sounds of Melodious laughter tug me below"

So much better than maniacle laughter... ... 10,000 maniacs on the other side of my door. I didn't close it in satisfaction, I slammed it shut and have barracaded myself inside... ... ...

"I am reaching for something
Scrambling for a hand to hold"

Reminds me of the scenes in movies where someone is about to fall and the hero/ine is shouting out... ... "Give me your hand." You know, edge of cliff, ledge of building, hanging from the bottom of a helicopter... ... ... I never make it, touch the fingertips of the hero, almost there... ... ... look up and whose face do I see? It was blurry at first but now I see that it is only me.

(Ms. K heaves heavy sigh)

Then I let go... ... ... continue the freefall that has been existence for a lifetime.

I am a ray of sunshine aren't I?

Really enjoyed this. I love to read over the poetry here, and within one piece, will pick out lines that could in and of themselves be poems all on their own. Never tried it with my own stuff. I should try though, might be interesting.

Thank you for sharing this.

Kristina

[Dani California]

So, I bit my lip and did
Here is a tale with two as a cast
I took a final satisfied look before closing the door
Sounds of Melodious laughter tug me below
I see the paradox of exotic
I am reaching for something
Scrambling for a hand to hold


I love that stanza. Wow...

this entire piece was great! I felt and related to it, well.

I like the formatting.. the italic thoughts.. they help draw out the meaning of the poem, although.. again.. that last stanza was the kicker. Great work..! Thank you for sharing this :)

[Catastrophe]

a unique way of writing a poem i should say
...the last stanza just said it all; i felt as if every emotion and all that had been said through
out the whole poem itself was said in that last stanza; the emotion stands out; great work

[R J Askew]

I don't think I could ever stitch bits together into some new quilt. I just couldn't. Dunno why. I can't share food in restaurants either. What's on my plate is on my plate and what is on your plate is on your plate! And muti-tasking... not me! But looking at the outcome I really like 'Daggers shot from the arrow of curiosity cripple my plea'. I also like 'Here is a tale with two as a cast...' and I like the final four lines. But I am focused on the daggers!

[Rick Puetter]

Hi Aranda,

I'm not judging you by this. I'd like to read your other writing, and I will, but I was invited to "see if you like their idea". So I'm going to be harsh. This is usually not my way, but I find this type of idea the antithesis of what poetry is suppose to be about, i.e., words expressive of an idea. So the concept of combining lines from poems and putting them together to see what you have is totally mind boggling to me. Poetry is not random combination (or even careful selection out of a set of possibilities), it should be the highest art of expression. I think the result speaks for itself. The individual lines themselves are beautiful, and I'm sure they are totally appropriate in the poems from which they were selected. But they make little sense together. The reader puzzles. The reader tries to piece them together. But there really is no purpose. These lines do not belong together. They are borrowed snippets from other existences and have little bearing one to the other.

As I've said, I'll make no judgement on your generous experimentation with this idea, but I find the very concept devoid of merit.

Sorry to be so harsh. Perhaps you caught me in an especially uncharitable mood.

Best regards,

Rick

[☮]

Daggers shot from the arrow of curiosity cripple my plea - loved this line. That's flawless.

I loved this poem... the trips it took me to. It was like life in a nutshell. Nice piece.

[Becca]

This is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I have read.
I am going to try it with my poems...

[SOUL_CONNECTIONS]

I enjoyed it.........very intense :)