Entry 6: 3 - 2 - 12

Dear Journal,                             3 - 2 - 12

 

        I… I don’t know what to say right now. My hands are shaking, and I can’t stop the tears from flowing, so you probably can’t even read this. But, I have to write this down. I have to before the feelings eat me up inside. Today, my very best friend, Terra, almost committed suicide. It was probably the most frightening thing I’ve ever experienced.

        I didn’t see her during school this morning. It’s flu season, so I didn’t think much of it. I thought that she had just caught the bug, and that she’d be back in a day or two. I didn’t want to text her during school to see how she was doing; I didn’t want to risk my phone getting taken away and the possible chance of a referral. I was just planning on checking in on her after school, but something just told me that text her and see if everything was okay.

        During lunch, I decided to follow that weird feeling and I sent her a quick, 7 word message.

        “Missed you this morning. L R u OK?”

        That was it. I was expecting her to respond with a quick “Yeah, just a little sick”, and then that would’ve been it. Instead, it took 10 minutes for her to respond. That same weird feeling came back and I started to get a little worried. Something just didn’t feel right. When I finally got a response from her, it sent complete, icy dread racing up and down my spine.

        “Taylor, I need u. Meet me at the canal. Quick.”

        The canal is probably the most dangerous place in town, and Terra and I usually avoid it like the plague. The fact that she was there was wrong in and of itself. I don’t even remember how I convinced my mom to pick me up and take me there; my mind was too panicked. All I know is that I got there.

        Terra was sitting next to the rushing water of the canal, a heavy rock tied around her ankle, and a suicide note stapled to her jacket. I ran over and immediately hugged her as tight as I could. She started crying, and then I started crying, and we were both just a

big mess. I talked to her for a while, and she told me why she had been about to kill herself, and why she hadn’t ended up doing it.

      She felt pressurized to be perfect by controlling parents- I now realize that they are much worse than my own �"and she knew she couldn’t be. When Justin and I weren’t around, she felt lonely, under-appreciated, and depressed. Finally, she told me that it was my text message that had saved her. Because I had said that I missed her, it made her realize that people did care about her. That revelation sent cold chills down my spine. If I hadn’t acted on that feeling that I had, my best friend would’ve been dead at the bottom of the canal.

I finally convinced her to let my mom take her home; where her parents had been franticly looking for her. I hope that boosted her confidence in the fact that she is loved. My mom took them aside and explained to them what happened; and then I gave Terra another big hug before we drove home.

        My nerves are still frayed from that experience. I’m still afraid that Terra may try to take her life again, despite all the reasons I had told her on why to stay. Another thing that really scares me is the fact that I didn’t know, before it was almost too late, that Terra was even considering suicide. I didn’t know that she was so depressed; I didn’t know that she had sunk so low.

        It makes me wonder how I could’ve missed it all. She’s my best friend for Heaven’s sake! It really opened my eyes to how focused I had become on my own problems. I have decided that, no matter what, I am not going to let something like this happen again. I’m going to make sure that everyone knows that they’re loved and appreciated; that they mean something to the world. I’m going to stop being so focused on myself and start focusing on the problems of others and trying to help them. Someone’s life could depend on it, and life is just too precious to risk.

 

~ Taylor   

Author's Note

And that, my dear friends, is it! There is no more! :)

I hope you liked this really short little experiment of mine. I had fun writing it! :D

Reviews

[JadeForever]

yes..teens die every year of suicide...i love that you wrote about it..:)

[Starcaller]

Real sad...but very cool over all XD

[Aeternal Oceanfire]

I really enjoyed reading this short journal! It was filled with great messages. It was also incredibl sad. I have been depressed in the past and it was horrible. Still, life is too wonderful to be abandoned. We should learn to live life and live it like we're dying and speak our minds before it's too late ( I have trouble with that, but I try). Even if you feel like you can't go on, every one of us is special and important. Life will get better.

[Nima M]

I had fun reading it. Taking your own life (or someone else's, for that matter) is really serious. That's why it's so inportant to not get so depressed and give up all hope. Once, my mom thought my brother would commit suicide, but I think she was just imagining it.
Please,please finish it. I really thought this "experiment" of yours was really amazing. Especially the way you ended it. I'm so glad Terra didn't die.

[The XYZ Writer]

So sad. But very nice. I really do hope you would continue it Ally!! But I loved this ending nonetheless. All the entries had something to do with reality and this one is no different. It really do open out eyes. *sniffles* I'm glad Terra's okay. :)

[Wren]

......................... wow what a way to end it. Please don't let it stop!! This writing experiment of yours was great. It was realistic and down to earth and shows how people live their lives through a more personal way. It was just so prefect!!!!!!! You should continue this. It could make a really good book.

[Jasmine Thousand]

This was just so amazing and sad. Amazing way to end it. There was a different mood for every single journal entry. Fantastic. So sad!!! I'm glad she texted Tara to ask if she was okay. Saved the girl's life... :'(

[Summer D.]

Beautiful ending. I know not what to say Allen~
You've done it again!

Moved me to tiny trickles.. of... manly tears. :D

*100*

[SwagMaster]

Awesome! It was a great write and a fantastic write. Now - ahem - I am going to try a little experiment. Here goes.

You shall keep writing, and writer faster than....(*This isn't working.*)

(*Of course it's not! You're doing it wrong! Here, let me try.*) You will feel an unquenchable feeling to continue this book! Abracadabra!

(*You're such a moron. You have to look into their eyes.*")

(*Nuh-uh*)

(*Yes-huh....I give up. Have fun.*)

(*No, don't leave! Please......sigh*) You shall be hypnotized by this message, although you are not making eye contact.....that is all.