"Nothing"

Tears pooling
on the desk
Shoulders shaking
Sobs you try to mask

I'm sitting here
I'm watching you
Your sobs I can hear
I can see your tears too

I ask "What's Wrong?"
You say "Nothing."
And I think "You ding-dong"
"I can see you crying."

I know you barely know me
But I want to help you
Why can't you see?
Why won't you let me get through?

Do you think I haven't cried tears?
Maybe yours and mine are the same.
I've had my fair share of fears.
Please, just call my name.

My tears have pooled
My heart's been broken
Please, don't be fooled
When my sorrows go unspoken

I hide behind a mask
Happiness is my shade
Sometimes, it's no easy task
And sometimes, the facade fades

Please, I want to help you
Just let me in
Tell me what I can do
Tell me through what sorrows you've been

Yet, when I ask again
You still say "Nothing"
If you refuse to let me in
Then I can't do anything

It hurts me to hear you cry
But I'll give you your space
If you won't tell me why
I'll get out of your face

As you turn away from me
A silent tear falls from my eye
Because, you see...

I was 'nothing' when you needed to cry.

Author's Note

This came about in French class today. One of my friends was upset, but she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. She said it was "Nothing" and that she was "Fine", even though I could see and hear her crying. I hate hearing people cry; it makes me feel so bad because a lot of the times I can't make them feel better.

This was yet another spur-of-the-moment poem, so it's not as great as I would like it to be, but here it is; completely raw and un-edited.

Reviews

[AK]

Wow! Your poems are brilliant. They have the capacity to make the readers feel the emotions you are talking about. I could feel the sadness and the hopelessness. Great write!

[Aeternal Oceanfire]

I think the very thing that makes this poem so beautiful is its sadness. I hate when others drag you down into their own misery by not allowing you to help.

[Wren]

I love how you use raw emotion in this poem to say how you would love to help, but get frustrated when you are turned away. This is a great write!

[Mathias Winters]

Spur-of-the-moment poems are usually pretty bad, but you did a good job here. It's a good modern poem. It doesn't have much originality, besides the style, but the emotion is there. The idea for the poem is good. It tells a story, and I love poems that do that. I would try condensing the ideas though. After a while a poem can begin to sound like rambling if it is stretched out too long.

You might want to change the category from "chapter" to "poem" by the way.

You're a very good poet. I like your style.

Just my thoughts,
Mathias

[Gregory]

beautiful.

[Tai Ryens]

A very gloomy write indeed, and it is quite saddening to be on either side of the story. This explains perfectly how you can harm others when you are injured yourself. Beautiful piece.
Though, if I do say so myself, you could have worked a little and rephrased some lines a bit in the beginning. It didn't flow as well there, but after you got more in-depth with the poem, your flow improved.
This is a really good write. Keep up the amazing work!

[SwagMaster]

Awww, so sad!!

[Echo Nightfield]

Beautifully written, one can tell how much you truely care and wanted to be there for your friend. Many people have had both sides of this experience and you have catured it next to perfectly.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Wow, this is really good :)

[Susanna F]

It's beautiful, and I can relate to both sides. Sometimes, you know, when the hurt is so bad, there's just nothing to say, no way to describe it, the words won't come and if they did it would demean the emotion. Some of us have also had our emotional reactions criticized and ridiculed enough times that we no longer confide in anyone. But your effort won't go unappreciated, you can be sure.