Prologue

This is the worst day of my life.  There really is no other way to describe it.  In all of my eighteen years, I cannot recall a day that has been as miserable as this day, the 16^th of June, 2014.  This is the worst birthday I've ever had. 

Why me? What have I done that has led me to deserve the outcome of this day?   

I honestly thought I had everything in my life figure out, and was on the right path.  But now? 

I can’t believe how terrible this day has turned out to be.

 (Sobbing now)

Maybe it is just all a bad dream, and I’ll wake up tomorrow, and everything will be fine.  Yeah, that’s it.

(More sobbing)

Oh man, this cannot be happening to me.

I mean, in reality, I know who I am, and all that stuff, and it took me a long time to be cool with that.  But is this the punishment from God I get for being who I am?

I am so stupid " I should have approached the whole situation differently, and maybe things wouldn’t have ended like this. 

(Tears, crying, sobbing nonstop now.)

Okay.  No, no - I’m not okay, and probably never will be.  I want to sleep, and not ever wake up.  The pain is just too much to take.

 

I’m so f*****g stupid. If only I had let my feelings known in a different way, at a different time, this whole thing would not have happened, and we could have had a future. But now?