Ritagni

R I T A G N I

 

Aspiration and perception of a little heart

 

 

* * * 

  

“ LET US GIVE JOY TO ALL, FOR JOY IS OURS ”
- Sri Aurobindo (Savitri, XII,1)

 

***

 

P R E F A C E

 

No body likes to touch fire, yet everybody likes to get warmness from it. If we have to say about her in few words we can say that she is seems like generous spontaneous fire. The little girl with a thousand dreams in her mind; all of them are of fly and fly swifter. Innocent in her looks and views, she has a magnificent power of dreaming. This is the collection of incidents of her earlier years, an attempt to outline the overview of her spirit and surroundings. One of the motive to describe all these incidents and the pink spirit of her aspiration and perception as a story is to convert the same as stepping-stone for her progress.

 

We can understand life by looking backward but we have to live life forward. To understand the life we have to shut our physical eyes and open inner eyes and understand the difference between seeing and just identifying.

 

Let us shut our eyes and try to understand the beyond…

* * *

‘All that the spirit has dreamed thou canst create.’ (Savitri, XI, I)

 

‘Woman, in your laughter you have the music of the fountain if life.’

(Ravindranath Tagore, Stray Birds, 192)

 

 

- Yogesh.
3rd September 2003                          Ahmedabad

 

 

 [ 1 ] 

 

No body likes to touch fire, yet everybody likes to get warmness from it. If we have to say about her in few words we can say that she is seems like generous spontaneous fire. The little girl with a thousand dreams in her mind; all of them are of fly and fly swifter. Innocent in her looks and views, she has a magnificent power of dreaming. She was first child in her family; many more have to follow after. It is she, to whom everybody likes to follow, but no one dares to come close to her, as she was firebrand personality with dynamism. She was keeping some unusual spirit, which even she could not understand.

 

We will call her Agni. When she has opened her eyes in this world, she was the only loving child of her father; father then was a person with enthusiasm and likes to enjoy social life. He had many good friends, working in blooming Textile Industry; earn some money with honesty, avoided to earn more by dishonestly, a person with good heart. Due to more socialization perhaps, he have had four more girls. Yet, he loved all of them, tried to do as much as he can for all five.

 

When she was about to enter in her youth – she was full of dreams. She wanted to climb Everest, she wanted to track the marathon, she wanted to fathom the sea but time had kept some unusual facts for her. Blooming Textile Industry started falling, father was struggling for survival, Our little angel was in love with her family, she started reacting against time, she forget her youthfulness and thought only about her usefulness for family. In the beginning she had to struggle a lot, almost 17 hours of working, studying, all dreams were about to evaporate or stored in a distant corner of the heart.

 

When we aspire for something, the aspired thing has to come sooner or later; she was aspiring for the job that can give her family a moral and dynamic support, which was highly needed then. Forgetting everything, every dream, she was behind the family to support it. Criticized by the closed social relatives and friends, she wanted to see a day rising with a letter of appointment, and the day rose – appointing her as white collared job for her and for her family.

The impossible is often untried was then her motto. All dreams, which were buried in far corner of her heart, started rising. Now she wanted to climb the mountain again… she had a little money now, she had a little wings, and she can fly! The spirit in her was pure so naturally she was looking for a friend with same pureness. Soon she had a friendship with two persons which looks like same as her, one from the neighborhood and another from the working front.

 

 

Anand, first friend of Agni, was the only male child of his family. Pampered by the mother, Anand was interested more in mountaineering, trekking, patriotic activities but no study. When he was stepping first step in youth, somehow he had a notion that he looks handsome. When we have some imaginary idea about ourselves with no foot on earth, we easily trap by our own idea and we starts making ourselves fool unconsciously.

 

In the beginning she has started believing everything what Anand was saying. She had a job, and Anand had not even completed his graduation. She wished and talked to him to complete the study, meantime she had traveled Himalaya with him for the joy of climbing. Society have certain social customs, relative have started forcing her to get married in caste. Marriage was a far cornered matter for her specially after getting the job – the first priority for her was to feed her family.

 

So soon she has to make up her mind, which way to go, get married and go away from the family and have own world or not to get married and stand firm on family-side, let all younger sisters get married, settled, afterward she can see….

 

Her other friend Akash was poetic mild personality. No way were Akash and Agni same in nature yet there was a friendship between them – Nature have their peculiar and strange ways of working. Nature uses one instrument to have her work done for other. Akash could not understand how to help and give mental support in the crisis of Agni. Crisis was of simple kind, get married or not… Akash was busy in his own family love-tie, and what solution a poet can give to the life-problem? Maximum is that he can write poetry on it. And he forwarded poetry of other poets to her; she had some solaces in dry summer.

 

One day she had a fight with the parent about to go to see a boy for her, she was not interested and father did not know how to convince her. After a few dialogs, father got furious and said that then have a widow-person after five years if you will not get married by this time.

 

She also started frustrating that how can a loving father like hers can tell the words like this. Seated on the roadside out side the home gate, she got one notion in the mind that, if Anand were there, she can talk with him. What about Anand? Yes, he is nice, looking not bad, and have good taste, staying very near to her father’s home, it seems quite good and matching idea if I get married with Anand only? – As yet Anand had not even completed his graduation but it does not matter for Agni’s mind, she was not the person looking position and looks.

 

She has started thinking on the same line for few more days. In every way it seems very adjustable, manageable if she gets married with him only. It was a pure adjustment – if life is an adjustment why not with him to whom we know a little.

She actually knew him very little. Then also in a positive way of thinking she thought that if anything missing in him she is able to develop in time and she will be a support and real companion to him. In a way, one day she had conveyed her feeling to him. There was a different sea of thinking in the mind of Anand. The first reaction from the Anand was that he did not think or have seen her that way.

 

“If you have not yet, you can think from now onward, Can you ?”

“May be, I am not sure…..”

He keep continue with full unsure way, why? He only knew…. She didn’t. And she continues hoping for the best.

 

What role Akash has? He was innocent, not knowing what to do. Akash had one more mystic kind of friend - staying out of town - visiting the town some times. Akash in a way introduce Mystic to Agni. Mystic have philosophical views on the matter of Love and marriage. Mystic told Agni not to give too much importance to the matter of marriage. He believed that people had given too much important to marriage, as there is no greater joy in the human life. In his thought, life is meant to seek our own self. Life does not meant a little to get married, have children, be happy and die with as little pain as possible.

 

Agni in depth of her heart thinking the same, she got sympathized, yet was not ready to leave the hope. The question is what was in a mind of Anand, it was not full yes, not even full no, then why to maintain the situation in a status-quo?

 

In fact, Anand was a self-centered person. Always thinking which way own profit is. One more girl was found interested in him, the girl was studying traditional medicine. If she can say yes, he proudly saw all that he got married with a doctor, But the girl seems confused, she needs some pampering. Anand started giving important to her, neglecting Agni.

 

Almost at same time Mystic, a far most friend of her, get engaged abroad. Mystic was more a mental but balanced emotional personality. While writing to his fiancée he just started falling in love with her. He was about to say I love you to her, he said I like you…. And something happen mischievously. His fiancée wanted to serve her father – they departed, he returned motherland with his all arm broken.

 

Mystic has to start from scratch on all fronts emotional, financial, moral, and social. The linking friend for Agni and Mystic was Akash, other than helping these two friends, Akash was over burdened by own love-problem, and he was hoping to be helped out. Agni was standing on junction, not knowing which way to go. Unconsciously she was about to arrange her priority but was not so clear what to do. Mystic did also not know what to do; two have started seating together. Both like to seats on swing.

 

Both have similarity in many testes, when Agni goes for searching a boy for her younger sisters, Mystic stand-by on her side. He has few things on his side, Courage, Certitude for self and Love for Harmony. She was spontaneous, courageous and with taste for harmony. Mystic started forwarding many books to her; she in turn started reading them.

 

Mystic was busy to search way out to rearrange his life. At a certain juncture, he realized that to have Peace in the heart and mind is the basic for achieving self-realization and harmony. He was knowing that there are many parts in our being, Mental, Vital, Physical and all have mix-up with many making Mental Vital, Vital Metal, physical vital and many more… Closely watching all his parts, he decided that he will not renounce the life in search of self but he will simplify life and it’s means and will try to established peace in the heart.

 

All his thought he started sharing with Agni while seating on the swing. She has different goal in life, to stand-by on family-side. Mystic said her that she can do all inner work without making any change in outer life and style. The only thing we have to change is out inner attitude. This is the idea and ideal Agni like the most. Mystic and his family was about to travel Pondicherry, he invite Agni to join with them. In the beginning Agni was more negative to go but does not stand firm against Mystic’s argument, lastly joined with them. Some miracle happened then onwards…

 

Life, Style, Life-style and the atmosphere of the Pondicherry so deeply touched to Agni, she forget when she had lost her heart. For more few years both have continue sharing small and all things facing life and life-problems. It was Mystic who realized first that Agni could be his life-companion. They can create simple heaven if both decide to share life. He was straightforward, he immediately conveyed his feeling, and there was nothing in her mind like this. She bounced back saying straight NO.

 

Mystic does not want to loose friendship of Agni. He had continued with the same spirit on the same way. Agni was in the beginning suspicious about the intension of Mystic; keep kin watch on every movement of Mystic. But time had given judgment on the side of him. The doubts and suspiciousness has to evaporate with time.

At one single movement they entered the abode of tapasya of the Guru and prayed for their companionship and comradeship. They call the world that that was the marriage in worldly term. Mystic wrote poetry – “Vidusi” in August, 1997 – in which he tried to express what is definition of companionship and what Agni meant for him: Experimenting Inward cum onward companionship on a different plane of consciousness is what the meaning of staying together :

 

Along the way,
Making plans, dreaming,
Trying to implement them,
Some fulfilled, luckily some are not.
I too like to dream sometime,
It should be a person with a difference.
What difference?
I had not made up my mind....
Many a time I was asking, what difference...?
She should be like this, like that...? No,
Why should I shut down and
Keep cut to size by imagination?

 

Along the way,
I found a word ‘ Vidusi ’,
Yes, She should be…
Spontaneously my heart replied,
If nothing else, it will do.

 

Along the way,
I found her, but she was not..!
I told her about my dream,
She too was in search of something similar.
Now, we are experimenting
Inward cum onward companionship
On a different plane of consciousness.

 

 

What is the meaning of “On a different plane of consciousness”? It sounds like idealistic but they wanted to create the atmosphere on the base of inward cum onward companionship, which can support as backbone for life to live inward. It can be understood as bellow as the message given by the mother for marriage :

 

To unite our physical lives, our material interests, to become partners in order to face together the difficulties and successes, the defeats, and victories of life – that is the very foundation of marriage, but we already know that it is not enough. To be united in our sensations, to have the same aesthetic tastes and enjoyments, to be moved in common by the same things, one through the other and one for the other – that is good, that is necessary, but it is not enough.

 

To be one in our deeper feelings, to keep a mutual affection and tenderness that never vary in spite of all the blows of life and can withstand every weariness and irritation and disappointment, to be always and on every occasion happy, extremely happy, to be together, to find in every circumstance tranquility, peace and joy in each other – that is good, that is very good, that is indispensable, but it is not enough.

 

To unite our minds, to harmonize our thoughts and make them complementary, to share our intellectual preoccupations and discoveries; in short, to make our sphere of mental activity identical through a widening and enrichment acquired by both at once – that is good, that is absolutely necessary, but it is not enough.

Beyond all that, in the depths, at the centre, at the summit of the being, there is a Supreme Truth of being, an Eternal Light, independent of all the circumstances of birth, country, environment, education; That is the origin, cause and master of our spiritual development; it is that which gives a permanent direction to our lives; it is that which determines our destinies; it is in the consciousness of That, that we must unite. To be one in aspiration and ascension, to move forward at the same pace on the same spiritual path, that is the secret of a lasting union.”

 

Sri Aurobindo had also described it in last chapter of Savitri, in which savitri said,

 

“All sweet relations marry in our life;
I am thy kingdom even as thou are mine,
The sovereign and the slave of thy desire,
Thy prone possessor, sister of thy soul
And mother of thy wants; thou art my world,
The earth I need, the heaven my thoughts desire,
The worlds I inhabit and the god I adore.

…

Let us go through this new world that is the same,
For it is given back, but it is known,
A playing-ground and dwelling-house of God
Who hide himself in bird and beast and man
Sweetly to find himself again by love,
By oneness. His presence leads the rhythms of life
Thuat seek for mutual joy in spite of pain.

…

 

Let us give joy to all, for joy is ours.” (Savitri, XII,1, page 719-720)

 

***

 

 

RAISON D’ETRE
(The Reason to be – in existence)

 

We always dreamed of
a great shared love
Awaken(ed) to the meaning of life…
For something
Which could physically reproduce
The great love that is
At the origin of the worlds.
We are mystery locked up in our body
With a family, friends, relations, laws,
Religion, plenty of stories
– But where are we?

 

There are millions of people
who bring babies into this world but not we,
Because we never felt
Very maternal (parental) physically,
Why start all over again?
NO, truly, it is not for this
That we are born.
We believe that
All must be done for which Life and death were made.

 

More we go more we know
That to feel love and oneness is to live.
We must aspire with
While sincerity to find ourselves.

Reviews

[Alex McFadyen]

This is all presented very well.
However, your grammar has frequent errors and it appears that English is your second language. Maybe it is, but do you want that to be obvious if you write something like this in English? Your concepts are interesting and usually I agree with them. I think for the average person I could even say that you are convincing (although this work is obviously Eastern style thinking and I think Western society is too full of itself to see the value in things like harmony.) I think the only way you can be convincing is if you can prove what you say. You don't really ever seem to do that, you tend to appeal to emotion and to prove your point in a preachy sort of way. There are many who are turned off by that. But it all depends on what your objective is, which is sort of unknown to me.