Chapter Three

YOU CAN’T ALLOW them to do this to you, a terrifyingly, serene voice whispers. Destroy them.

Tempting images of skulls splitting and shrieks piercing project beneath my closed eyelids. A wicked grin slips unto my parched lips for the slightest of moments as snippets of destruction and mayhem flash before my eyes.

You can escape this, Lilith, it assures me. Don’t you want revenge after all they’ve done to you and your family?

Gripping my roughly bounded hands to the armrests, I slam my head against the steel table in front of me. I cannot allow these sinister thoughts to persuade me again. Grinding my teeth down hard, I fight against my malicious self. Continually bashing my head, a sharp pain rips throughout my skull, overpowering all thoughts.

“What’s wrong with her?” I hear a curious voice ask; they sound completely repulsed.

The voice sounds so far away to my ears, I can’t tell if my delusional mind is dreaming it up or not.

“I believe the fact that she’s about to be put down like a rabid animal is the reason for her behavior,” replies a woman in a sarcastic, snappy voice.

“Well, I’ve heard she’s a bit,” the man inputs, pausing to search for something politically correct,“...Unstable.”

“After all she’s been through,” answers the woman, “I would be, too.”

Head hammering, I sit up again, a steady ache throbbing against my temples.  Vision blurry, my eyes lazily dart around the chamber I’m being contained in. The small, four-walled room is completely white, the dark scars marring my arms clashing harshly with the milky decor.

As my vision focuses, I am able to discern a fair-haired man and a sharp nosed woman dressed in identical, white, lab coats seated across from me on the opposite side of the table I’d been slamming my head on. They’re not sporting gas masks like the guards; they’re not even wearing the traditional surgical masks that everyone is required to wear in public. They’re mouths are exposed, curved lips susceptible, and teeth bared--just like mine. I can't understand why they aren't protecting themselves. Aren't they terrified they’ll be infected?

Even so, I can’t recall them ever slipping inside the room that the guards dumped me in, but with this pulsing ache in my head, I find that I don’t care.

“Hello, Ms. Irvings,” the man perks up once he notices me eying him, displaying for me a perfect row of blinding, white canines.

I stare at his vulnerable mouth, at his bloodless teeth. I stare so hard, his smile fades, awkwardly scratching at his naked throat like he’s visibly bothered by my peculiar behavior.

After an eternity of silence, he frantically glances over at his companion.“Uh, does she not speak?”

The lady ignores him. She won’t even look at him;  instead, she’s staring pointedly at me. Her murky, gray eyes regard me, apologizing for something I’m not quite sure of.

“I’m Dr. Tzar and this is Dr. Caldwell.” the woman replies simply, her placid face neutral and almost bored. Her expression reminds me of a stiff board-- flat,  long, and uninteresting.  “We’re here to inject your serum.”

“Serum?” I croak, my voice raw and callow from lack of use.

“Why, yes,” the blonde man, Mr. Caldwell, perks up. He’s  smiling that aggravatingly spotless smile again. “Don’t worry. It’s completely painless. The only pain you will be feeling is the tiny, pinch of a needle. But after that, you won’t feel anything, Ms. Irvings. It will be a peaceful--” he stops abruptly, gulping down his words, backpedaling, backpedaling--

“Death,” I finish for him.

          “Well, I wouldn't say that,” he stammers like he’s panicking, like he was never expecting this kind of response from such a small minded individual. He’s so frantic, I almost laugh. I don't, though. They’ll just label me as even more insane than they already think I am.

       “Think of it as more of a peaceful release,” elaborates the petite woman, her umber,  cropped hair hanging stiffly just above her shoulders. “You’re life in the Establishment will not continue, but this is a selfless act, Ms. Irvings. This is for the betterment of the community.”

Her words roll out robotic and emotionless-- like she’s reading off a  memorized script

This is for the betterment of the community.

A sting of pain trickles down my abdomen like her heartless words have just impaled it, torn it open. Everyone thinks I’m a threat-- and it’s sadder when I know they aren’t wrong.

Biting down at my lips hard enough to draw blood, I nod at her in muted understanding. “Okay.”

They blink at me like they were expecting me to erupt.

“Well,” the woman announces finally. “It’s time to inject you serum.”

Wordlessly, the man stands, produces a medical needle filled with flaxen liquid, and cautiously approaches my side.

Kill him, I hear it hiss.

I bite down so hard on my lip, it splits.

Crouching down, he daftly slides a disinfectant wipe across the crease in my arm. I shiver, and when I look down, I notice that my entire body is trembling. He must notice, too, because he grins reassuring at me, mumbling a cordial, “Thank you for your cooperation.”

He holds the serum steadily in his hand and places it carefully against my naked skin.

“This will only sting a little,” he assures, and presses down at the top of the syringe without warning. Wincing, I feel a slight puncture as the needle raptures through skin and digs into my veins. Swallowing,  I pinch my eyes shut as the contents of the serum and the last shreds of my dignity is emptied.

“Done,” he declares, and the needle slips out of my skin within a second.

I swallow again and rip my eyes open, the brightness of the room blinding me for a slight moment.

The man inspects the empty serum, holding it against the blaring light. “It should start taking effect in a few minutes.”

He says it like he’s describing the conditions of the weather.

“You should be feeling some joint stiffness in a few minutes,” Dr. Tzar informs, and she tries forcing on a grin of her own. It doesn’t reach her eyes. “Don’t worry. It’s normal.”

You can get of this, it calls. Snap her neck.

I clamp my eyes back down and try to call back some jubilant memories. None come.

“How much longer?” I meekly ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

“A few more minutes,” Dr. Tzar answers, and I’m almost convinced she sounds crestfallen for a second.

I try and clench my hands together. Terror collects in my stomach. My fingers won’t move. My eyes shoot open.

“I-I can’t feel my hands,” I stammer,  eyes darting frantically.

“It’s normal, Ms. Irving,” Mr. Caldwell assures. “Try remaining calm.”

I try for my toes, but they’re limp-- my limbs are disconnecting, dying off. I am dying off.

“I can’t feel my legs now, either,” I splutter out, and I’m almost screaming.

The numbness is spreading up my arms, down my legs;  it’s climbing up, up, up. Death is so close now, I can reach out and touch it.  I’m so afraid, I feel like ice-- like I’m being turned to stone.

“Wait, I--,” I heave, trying to swallow what feels like cement down my throat. “I don’t want to die.”

“Ms. Irvings, calm down.” Dr. Caldwell demands cruelly, his benevolent bravado now fallen.

“No,” I shriek in sheer panic.“I don’t want to die!”

The terror is deafening; it’s a constant ring in my ears, a constant roar in my stomach. I taste salt on my lips, and tears I never meant to release are slipping freely down my cheeks. I’m crumbling in on myself, and the only thing I can feel is a frigid desperation.

Suddenly, Dr. Tzar places a cold hand on my shoulder. “Please. Ms. Irvings--”

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” Venom surges through those three words like I’m spitting poison.

And I’m not me anymore.

Dr. Tzar flings across the room like a ragdoll, her body slamming hard into the cinder block walls. I think she’s screaming, or maybe it’s me, I don’t know.

I can hear Dr. Caldwell shrieking at the sight of his colleague, and once he notices my blank eyes on him,  he tries sprinting toward the door for an escape. The steel table catapults into him, knocking him clean off his feet.  

Their screams intertwine like a jovial melody-- a catchy tune. A dark smile spreads on my dry lips.

“Lilith, stop this! Please!”

My mind halts at the sound of my name-- an emotional hiccup -- and the world caves in on me.

I release Dr. Tzar and I release the table suffocating Dr. Caldwell. I release it all.

They’re moaning for relatives, crying out for their lives. I stare, gaping, eyes sheening.

Oh, god, oh god, oh god. What have I done? Why can’t I ever get anything right? Why won’t I just die already?

Everything is spinning, blurring, morphing into something dark.  Death’s blackened tendrils are creeping down my throat

“I’m sorry,” I whimper at last just as everything burns to black.

Author's Note

This is personally one of my favorite chapters so far writing-wise. Still, there are probably numerous mistake that I didn't catch! Feel free to fix them.

Don't be scared to tell me your honest thoughts and even theories as to what's really going on.

Thanks!
xx