Experience

Have you felt the sun on your skin

In the middle of a bout of depression

Rays so bright and burning 

Feel dull and leave your gut churning 

Have you ever been ready to die

While birds fly high in the big blue sky? 

Hear their song with the rustling wind

A calmness as your will to live breaks and bends. 

Have you ever been in a room of friends

Laughing while you plan your end?

Mindless chatter the backdrop of inner monologue,

Chilling unease that urges on your thoughts. 

Have you ever found yourself in the center of a storm,

Rushing and raging like your mind found a form? 

Your tears slipping off and mixing with rain water

A dance as you leave behind dreams of the perfect daughter 

Have you ever watched lightning strike the night 

Burning hot and bright like your pain is alive 

A stricken image reflecting what you feel inside,

Flashing a contrast against all that you fight. 

Have you ever forced a grin to hide the pain

Because you can't worry those you love again? 

Have you ever felt hollow, like a home in a tree,

like there's something to love inside that you can't see. 

Have you taken a walk just after sunset,

To watch the stars ask if the day is done yet. 

To stand beneath light that traveled thousands of years

And settled on a form that couldn't handle its own fears

Have you ever been alone in the darkest hour of night? 

Struggling to accept your overwhelming inner plight? 

To stare into the darkness and feel watched by nothing,

And as though it has taken the form of everything. 

Have you ever looked up into the eye of the moon,

To glare into it's kind shine and feel a calming soothe? 

To wonder what it’s like up in the night sky,

Where the quiet is so immense your thoughts couldn’t lie

Have you ever been so alone in a world filled with life,

That your mind says it’s best to climb to the highest height 

And to finally feel the wind rushing through your hair,

as you finally fly, soar through the electric air? 

Have you ever felt so disconnected from a world 

where everything courses through you, an elastic hurt,

so blinding and pure that it pulls from every which way,

Until “Goodbye,” is the only thing left to say.