911

911

A Poem by audacious

For you, anything under the sun,
For you, the back seat and a coffee run.
For you, a sweet text, a humble stare.
For you, everything, I learned to care
For you, the things you loved, the things you shared,
For you, trips to all over, or trips simply nowhere.
For you, my love and undying affection,
For you, my heart, my smiles, my attempted perfection. 
For you, a calm body, mind and soul,
For you, me waiting at beck and call.
For you, anything under the sun,

But for me, all I got was a hit and run.

© 2019 audacious


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Reviews

Im so sorry.......this sounds aweful. I do think though that so many of us can relate to this heart break since it's so common. I like how this was written in a nice easy to read style. your profile pic too is unique and sets a tone as well. well done!

Posted 3 Years Ago


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Rye
Wow! I really enjoyed this write, I think this write is very well written and creative.
Awesome flow and rhyme....

Posted 5 Years Ago


audacious

5 Years Ago

I appreciate it!
To be completely honest, the second "under the sun" line is far more powerful than its iteration at the beginning, and really ties everything up nicely while serving as a brilliant lead up to the absolutely wonderful twist of an ending. It's not that repetition is bad, but in this case, it kind of ruins the power of the line, so were the first line to be tweaked to some other "un" rhyme, this would become an utter gem of a poem. Well done!

Posted 5 Years Ago


audacious

5 Years Ago

Thank you so much!!
emipoemi

5 Years Ago

my pleasure.
The end line(which certainly has double meaning) definitely adds a twist to this poem.

The overall poem is nicely expressed and seems real heart-felt.

WELL DONE

Posted 5 Years Ago


audacious

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much!

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4 Reviews
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Added on January 25, 2019
Last Updated on January 27, 2019

Author

audacious
audacious

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