Sewn Shut

Sewn Shut

A Poem by audacious

My heart you pried out,
Clean from my dainty chest,
Thank the stars for diminishing doubt,
As I sew it together; the true test
Of how self love and perseverance 
Can mend everything whole,
Heart, mind, body, and soul. 

© 2018 audacious


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Rye
Very awesome, and so well written. I really enjoyed this,
awesome flow and rhyme scheme.

Posted 5 Years Ago


audacious

5 Years Ago

Thank you!
The only thing I need to say about this is that the musicality in the even-numbered stanzas is a bit iffy.

If I may:

-"true" would help the musicality of that line AND add power were it to be changed to "truest"
-"From heart to mind to body to soul"......that adds extra power to the ending (and poem as a whole) AND helps land the musicality on a good note.

This is otherwise stupendous! Well freaking done!

Posted 5 Years Ago


audacious

5 Years Ago

Thank you so much for the feedback!! It means a lot!
emipoemi

5 Years Ago

my pleasure.

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Added on November 12, 2018
Last Updated on November 12, 2018

Author

audacious
audacious

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