Savory Swoon

What is love merely masked by clear blue eyes

or sweet words put off until later?

and how does one go about forgetting

(un)forgettable flings that (do)n't matter?

To one, an easy solution, just move on, never look back.

to the other however, 

it's a feeling of hope that keeps them 

from leaving the track.

So while one lives, the other dies,

a slow and painful death, until she wakes up one night, 

in the midst of nothing,

and realizes everyone has been quite right.

Reviews

[Rye]

I think this is a well written write, with an awesome flow to it.
So very nicely presented and written.

[audacious]

Thank you very much!

[Rye]

not a problem, you are very talented and I hope to read more of your poems...

[emipoemi]

- I believe the parenthesis should be encompassing the "n't" and not the "do"
- line break Stanza 2 Line 1 at "solution", and put a colon after the word.
- no comma needed at the end of Stanza 3 Line 1; and put "until she wakes.......of nothing" as one line OR put "until.....night" on its own line.

Not all stanzas need to be symmetrical and THAT consistent in unconstrained verse, so don't. Some thoughts can't necessarily stand with other thoughts on the same line from either each its own thought or they each bear a certain power that makes them unable to share the same line. ALSO, the first stanza has a certain flow that's not replicated throughout the other stanzas, so you have the liberty then to construct the stanzas as necessary. If you want to keep the four-liners thus, then best simply put the related thoughts together, so as not to confuse readers AND tweak the punctuation (change/remove) where they prove unnecessary.

This is otherwise fantastic! Well done!