A Night to Remember

This is only part of a chapter of a book. What do you guys think?

I cover my mouth suppressing a scream that threatens to tear through my lips. I listen to each step this man takes outside my closet door. My body shakes as I try to look through the minuscule crack between my wall and door searching for any clear sign that he’s gone. The blinds shake as a gust of wind blows through my room. The muscles clenched throughout my body relax ever so slightly with the hope that he would think I escaped through my second bedroom window. He slams the window shut and yells in frustration. Glass spreads across my floor from a lamp that once sat perfectly on my night stand. The angry evil man tossed it to the floor in his small fit of rage. As he starts to walk from my room, my feet begin to go numb and I can’t help but lean back. I start to lose balance and my shoulder hits the wall sending out a dull thud. My breath catches in my throat and tears stream down my face. His footsteps stop and he slowly turns towards the closet doors where my heart begins to race. His boots sound louder with every step he takes towards me. My body shakes uncontrollably with fear that these may be my last thoughts. No one can save me now and I can’t remember the last thing I said to my mom and dad before they were brutally killed just an hour earlier. I can’t help but wonder what their last thoughts may have been.

I peek through  the crack to see his black pant right in front of the door. I hear the click of his gun as he c***s it back ready to kill. He grabs the handle on the first french door and swings it open. I see the barrel of the pistol as he points it inside the closet. He then moves to the second door, where I’m huddled on the ground, when a small musical chime sounds throughout the house.

Author's Note

Thoughts?