Childhood Scars (back story to the novel)

Posting thoughts for depth in the intro to novel. I know it terrible. posted for myself unedited and for my own self expression for motivation. F**k off.

A little boy leaned up against a aluminum siding of his house, a trailer in a park located on the Saginaw Bay lake view. Crying, defeated, alone,with thoughts of anger, pain, and disappointment. Continual thoughts of why he was born with this life, dreaming of others fortunes, the fucked up life he was born. The cries overwhelmed with a death reality, human has one life in this universe. The life, we have one unique existence, this is the born situation. Having no one to express thoughts at a early age, highly intelligent, he is sitting, head down, in a complete emptiness. Experience has patterns of past failures, he became shut off, distant to human connection, a stranger to society, stranger to family, existing empty to humanity. Overthinking, heighten ability to understand, reflect, with a truth of core social interactions. The childhood molded this horrible, distant, recluse disappointment. The boy becomes with understanding life, the darkness of living, the thick oil covered realization in nothingness.

Conditioned with time in emptiness and hardness. The first few years, empty, young, masked to prevail driven advanced ability in observational, intuition. The recognizing social behavior with intelligence of finding boredom, reading simple interactions with knowledge of outcomes. This very human is incapable, unaware, their psychological thoughts, needs or awareness. The boy now is of absolute darkness. The boy distanced himself with controlled abandonment in society.

Silence, effortless in engagements towards interactions with friendly humans, exist as the a*****e, the enemy, cocky adult boy become. Years of childhood spent , growing up unchallenged, accepting death at the early age, loving to the darkness and failures. Understood feelings every adult never will become comfortable. Humans run from the failures with blame, hurt, self harm, and frozen to life. He welcomed darkness and fell in love.

*add to first page of novel to create a backstory to the main character