Unreachable Home

A Poem by Atominizer

Wanted to travel and go back home
Drank another bottle and wanted to be alone
Darkened and knew I was your disappointment
Home is a place of unwanted pain

Still working on my self-forgiveness
My sins and anger
Only darkens your door step
While I try and felt this is the way when I arrived

Tragic to myself, I hid into my mind of these thoughts
Alone and open while burning my soul’s energy
I carried onward knowing its self-destruction
Trying to not think about what I have missed

Swallowed all my tears and I know home does not exist
Older I get, the truth is harder and in distance
Maybe I do not have it in me to carry the lies
The naïve self to please

Maybe I will find a place I fit
Maybe my hardness will become home
Home to the emptiness I grew comfortable
Comfort in my soul to find a home

Still working on my self-forgiveness
My sins and anger
Only darkens your door step

Knowing that I cannot remember a time I felt so lost
Chasing a dream from a hurt childhood
Knowing the moves and change to the truth is of lies
I heard that to be of happiness comes from simplicity

Settle my mind, do I need love
learning love is a home
The unreachable Home