proserpine / saturnine

i. proserpine

you can change your life with a single seed,
or maybe a handful, but 

not even your hands can carry my grief,
red sticky sweet, twisted wrist and a glint
of something, don’t look back or
you’ll lose what you see

water still and deep, the choiring of
swans, gathering hyacinth and lilac,
the girls hum as they walk
(slowly twisting the lilac stalks)

but spring and tepid ponds only last

so long, the bliss of youth and not

knowing why what he’s done is wrong

when i’m with you, the world dies
with me, those who eat with the dead
cannot go back, and pluto is the death
of all things, red stained hands, sulfurous
pools and aching chasms

what do i make of you, the status of a god,
with the integrity and cowardice of man?

there is a price for being a deity, a price to pay

for eating the fruit that was forced
into your mouth, but no price to

pay for the hand that feeds

lilith in scorpio, was it written for me

to face these shadows astrologically?
immortalized rape, sculpted and painted

for generous patrons, discussed by
academics and critiqued, don’t look back or
you’ll lose what you see

ii. saturnine

everything is the end of the world, 

everything is if you’re me, i promise,

everything is the end of the world if

you’re with me.

i’m familiar with your disposition, dark blue

tears glisten like silk ribbon, do you want me too?

say you want me, baby blue,

everything is the end of the world and nothing 

is ever finished.

Reviews

[nadia dmitri]

Wow this is so cool I love the imagery and the themes, gives an almost supernatural feel!

[Chris]

Be cautious to not overwork your words.

Your last stanza speaks volumes.

[emmajoygreen]

''water still and deep, the choiring of
swans, gathering hyacinth and lilac,
the girls hum as they walk
(slowly twisting the lilac stalks)'

This poem seems to revolve, as if luring that deity. wanting to be part of his space.. How could or can he deny you?!. How can YOU ever step away! Your phrasing is beautiful, yet.. full of this side- that. trying perhaps to adhere to that vast print you see as your deity's being. '.i promise, everything is the end of the world if - you’re with me.. '

[Ken Simm.]

I disagree this feels perfectly polished but then I am not the author. I do know it is full of pieces that I wish I had written. Like a choiring of swans. Intelligent and soulfully beautiful

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like the paradox of integrity and cowardice...
yes a price to pay for being a deity...or for one to consider himself a deity.
Quite and interesting write we see here...
I was thinking of Bob Dylan..."It's all over now, Baby Blue"---

Don't look back because your past will be catching up to you.
j.

[jaye river]

thank you for your thoughts, jacob