pretty girls like dead stars

i want to hurt like pretty girls, it’s

the god awful truth, ashamed to admit

to something so ugly and unfit

i want to be worthy of the hurt, 

i want to be wanted even when the 

want turns into something violent

at least, i’ll be worth more than
nothing, feeling someone’s touch,
no matter how rough, i want

to be worth the cause of infliction,

violent indulgence would be enough

i’ll tell them they don’t get it, 

they just don’t understand,

don’t need to answer to anyone when you’re the man

cigarette ashes and wet eyelashes,

lipstick stain on your cheek like a bruise,
my melancholy and infinite sadness

our own little world, they just don’t understand,

you hurt me and i take it like a man

you get what you pay for and i’m in debt,

i have to claw my way out, my loan shark of 

grief, towering over me like a king and a thief

call me what you want, i’ll be your man,
my baby, my baby,

do with me what you want, i’ll understand,

you don’t get me, but i understand

i want to hurt like pretty girls, black
mascara running in streaks, smudged 

under my eyes and down my cheeks

give me something to cry about, i’ll

give you a show, i’ll stare in the mirror

and admire the glow of my eyes and my 

puffy red lips in the dim bedroom light,

you take what you want knowing 

i’ll never put up a fight, and i know

that it’s wrong but with you it feels right

i want to cry how pretty girls cry,

i made the bed, i guess i gotta lie in it,

you’re bright like a star, the ones that

have been hanging dead for years in the sky

funny how my body betrayed me

when i was losing my mind,

funny how my body betrayed me

and you didn’t mind

i’ll take what you give me and put it

on the shelf, you indulge in me your

tendencies that you can’t bear yourself

dark red nails, sharp stained where skin breaks,

you never explain yourself, you just say 

there’s things we give and we take

no confession of sin, but you beg for forgiveness,

your fingertips burn, volcanic ash left on my skin

undo me, buttons and latches and hooks,

undress my body and tell me how it looks,

each time i cross the threshold, you

reinfect me, chronic
undoing, undressing,

unprotected,
unimpressed

rope burn on my wrists, maybe i want more

than what exists, turning corners,

always haunting what i miss

Author's Note

quite like the last stanza

Reviews

[Matthew Kult]

Painfully erotic, Desperately desiring.

With love,

Matthew

[emmajoygreen]

Perhaps there are some who don't have to go through physical violence to feel that way. Is as easy to be defiled as you suggest via mental violence - if that is what is wanted. However, the latter remains for years if not forever - If that's acceptable, of course. Is it? In which case, why?

The rawness of your words however, hit gut and mind.. you have power in that pen.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Overall a haunting piece as the protagonist becomes subservient and sumissive and will even accept pain to be wanted. Nicely put together with the rhyming all the way through.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Deep cut emotion and sublime eloquence though i can't imagine a relationship like this , seems to be about rape like violent love, at first i thought it was about a prostitute but im not sure. Kudos!!

Plz also read and comment my newest poem too

[Chris Shaw]

Powerfully conveyed. Brought a lump to my throat that anyone can feel like this in a relationship. Some excellent lines and I felt a Plath like influence present. A fantastic piece of writing.

Chris

[D. Mansfield]

This is a moving and very powerful piece of writing. I continue to be blown away by the talent on this site, over and over. Great poem

[Arielle.ambilichu]

Reading this while crying wishing i was a pretty girl makes me feel like i am this writing itself, i am basically living like this.

[jaye river]

i love poetry and any art form that helps people connect over shared feelings. but i hate knowing other people feel this awful feeling. for what it's worth, i think you're very pretty.

[nadia dmitri]

This is heartbreakingly beautiful, I love your poetry so much :)

[jaye river]

thank you for reading nadia!

[W. Barrett Munn]

Splendid example of your great talent. I get a Janis Ian vibe but darker, Norma Jean Ian maybe.

Winston

[jaye river]

thank you winston! it means a lot. and i am not familiar, i will have to check her out

[W. Barrett Munn]

Janis Ian wrote and sang “At Seventeen”. Norma Jean was the real name of Marilyn Monroe.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"my loan shark of grief" wow, what a metaphor there.
Very Sylvia Plath-like.
self-deprication with a really vivid sarcasm which projects from the speaker to the subject of this poem.
The idea that any attention is worth it even if it is cruelty. A reverse psychology in this really absorbing and powerful write.
j.

[jaye river]

her style and attitude has always really inspired me. thank you for your kind words as always, jacob.