rotten

you like to push your limits with me,

just to see how far i’d let you go. and now

you are looking down at me from the balcony,

i am splayed out on the ground below.

you look beautiful from here, even though

the street lamps make everything look dull.

my ears are ringing, i think this

has finally taken it’s toll.

it’s raining, there’s blood on the sidewalk

mixing in puddles of water, dark red ink.

hurry up and come down, 

and before i die, tell me i’m your favorite.

or am i no good? i tried to be,

i wanted to be everything,

i’ll starve you so you’re hungry for just me



i lay in the rain and wait for you to eat my heart, just

rip it out of my chest with bare hands,

or sink your teeth into my wrist but -

bite me slow, i want to feel it,

i know how it goes, to be so hungry for so long,

you can tear me open, devour me down

to the marrow of my bones

i don’t expect you to be gentle,

i know you leave claw marks on everything you touch,

burrowed deep into flesh. 

teeth into flesh, is this not a tender touch? 

one most intimate and sacred?

 

and what is the difference between
being insatiable and being haunted?

crack the spine and reach in the folds of book pages,

where dead flowers are flattened and kept. rotten bookmarks like

rotten fruit:

bloody red seeds inside spill out when you cut me open,

i’ll stain your fingertips if you’re not careful.

a pound of flesh is on the table, 

tear into it with your teeth and claws

i’ll wait in the hallway, for you to

stitch me up again with strands of your hair

i’ll be your chalice at the altar,

put your mouth on the edge, 

before the father: lean back and drink,

he’ll forgive you, and you’ll do it again

you can hurt me all you want, 

tender bruise,

i will take your pain and

keep it safe for you.

hold a knife to my throat, if you need to,

but please don’t hold my wrists, just bite into them instead.

blood in your mouth like candy, your teeth in me,

how intimate is a bite, how tender is a bruise?

this quiet sacrament, anoint my head with oil,
but don’t be too kind, i won’t know what that means,

i kneel, and i know you have damned me

i press on the bruise, i hope it stays longer than you,

so in the end i’ll have something of something to keep

loving you is really hard, being devoured is easier.

i’m just an animal, and you came crawling to me like one.

Reviews

[nadia dmitri]

this is so thoughtful, the bruise line at the end is my favourite, i love the raw and truthful nature of it, amazing job :)

[jaye river]

thank you for reading nadia! as always