The Lawns - episode 3A Screenplay by T M AtkinsonThe tree of knowledgeThe Lawns " tales from a summer school by T M ATKINSON EPISODE 3 " THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE
(Cut to show Norman walking towards the dining hall. He walks past a queue of students waiting to be served. He greets them. The camera follows him)
NORMAN: Its a big day today. Today, everyone is off timetable. We have two guest speakers coming in to talk to the students about their upcoming exam and give them an opportunity to see what we expect of them and more importantly, what they expect of themselves.
(Norman walks up to the staff " all teachers and activity staff - who are sat on two tables)
NORMAN: Morning Campers.
MIKE: He's talking to you Carl!
(Carl doesn't react)
NORMAN: So, the plan for the day is the first talk will begin at half past ten and run until twelve with a ten minute break. Lunch follows for an hour and a half, then the next speaker is half one till three with a ten minute break, then activity leaders, if you can play some sport with the students till about fiveish and we'll sort out tonight later. Not the most exciting day, but its got to be done.
(Murmurs from staff)
NORMAN: Teachers, we've told the students and their leaders that they've got to go to their lessons at half nine. You don't have to teach them anything, just have a chat with them about today. Get them to talk about what they've done so far on their holiday, OK?
(A man comes over to Norman with a very camp walk) 1 MARCO: (Camp) Norman, cu-ee
NORMAN: (under his breath) Oh for f***s...(speaks normally) Yes, Marco?
MARCO: Norman, my students want me to sit with them for these talks, but I want to be able to understand what the specialists are saying.
NORMAN: So, what are you after?
MARCO: Well, I'm after one of your teachers to help me and stay with me for most of the day.
NORMAN: (To teachers) Any takers?
(All teachers except Carl, say “Carl” Carl reacts with muted surprise)
DAVID: Carl's your man. Best teacher here.
IAN: Without a doubt. I wake up everyday and wish I could be like him.
TOM: I think you and Carl will make a great couple (coughs) team.
(Marco jumps up and runs over to Carl and hugs him from behind)
MARCO: Oh Carl, thank you. My mama thanks you and my papa thanks you. (Takes Carl by the hand) Come and have breakfast with me.
2 CARL: But I've just buttered my toast.
MARCO: I will get you hot toast with melting butter...
(Carl stands up unwillingly and unenthusiastically)
MARCO: Do you take sugar in your tea or are you sweet enough?
(Marco takes Carl to his table by his hand. The others snigger round the table at what they've just done.)
MIKE: That's put me right off my Krispies!
END OF SCENE
(Cut to a scene showing Katie walking over to meet the two guest speakers dressed in suits.)
NARRATOR: Its nine o'clock and Katie Stephens meets the two guest speakers for the day. Chris Simpkin and Malcolm Lord, two specialists in the art of motivational speaking, who have arrived to give the students an insight into what to expect in their exams.
KATIE: Good morning. Its Chris and Malcolm isn't it? Here are your badges...now is there anything you need to know before I take you through to set up?
MALCOLM: We just need to clarify a few things. The exam is both oral and written isn't it?
KATIE: Yes it is.
CHRIS: And they need to be able to talk and write about things they do and like in English. 3 KATIE: That's it. Pure and simple, like milk. Right, well lets get set up, its through in the performance room.
(They walk and talk)
MALCOLM: I do have something to bring in for my car. I need it for my talk, but it needs two people to bring it.
KATIE: That's fine. I'll get two of the activity staff to carry it in.
CHRIS: And the students are being prepped now for our talk in their classes?
KATIE: Yes. The teachers are talking over the important stuff right now.
END OF SCENE
(Cut to Tom's class who is stood up in front of the students)
TOM: Are you serious? A world football eleven without Messi?
STUDENT: Ronaldo is much better.
TOM: He's a good player. Why can't they both be in the team?
STUDENT: Because I love Real Madrid.
TOM: OK (to whole class) shall we just pick the whole Real Madrid team then?
OTHER STUDENTS: NO!
4 TOM: Right, what about some good English players?
(Everyone stays quiet)
TOM: Come on! There must be one English player you like.
(Everyone still stays quiet " and then all chant ROONEY)
TOM: Rooney? I think we'll stick with no English players! Now, a goalkeeper...
END OF SCENE
(Cut to the performance hall where Chris and Malcolm are getting ready for their talks)
NARRATOR: In the performance hall, Chris and Malcolm are getting ready for their individual talks to the students. With Chris going first, its imperative that he's fully prepared for this.
CHRIS: Its wisdom that we're passing on. The students need us and need our words. We have to energise and inspire them and then success will fall into their lives.
MALCOLM: Have you got any change so I can buy some mint fresheners? I still can still taste the curry I had for breakfast.
CHRIS: No.
END OF SCENE
(Cut to show the students walking into the performance hall. The staff are walking in their as well.)
MARCO: So Carl, I'm interested to know what you like doing when you are not teaching? 5 CARL: Nothing really. I just go home and read. I don't like going out.
MARCO: Me too! You can't beat a good book? What do you like to read?
(Carl and Marco go in)
IAN: At least we get out of teaching for the day.
DAVID: But we've still got to be bored out of our mind for the best part of three hours.
(Jack and Verona hold hands as they walk past Ian and David)
JACK: Just do what we're going to do to the past time and stroke each other.
(Ian and David stop briefly)
IAN: We could always sit next to them.
(Ian and David go into the hall.)
END OF SCENE
(Show all students and staff sat down as Katie and Norman walk out in front of the students)
KATIE: Good morning. Today is a very special day. We have two guest speakers for you. They are going to inspire you and get you correctly prepared for your exams in a few days. We hope that you enjoy the talk and take part in some of the fun activities. We don't want you to feel nervous about your exams and we want you to do well. We want you to succeed. So, without further a do, please can you welcome our first speaker, from U CAN B INSPIRED, Mr Chris Simpkin.
6 (Applause from everyone. Chris walks out)
CHRIS: (Very dramatic) A hush falls over the expectant crowd. A hero needs to rise...to achieve...to climb to the top of the inspiration ladder and look down upon thousands of people who failed to achieve and say, in a loud voice, “This is what you could have been!” (short pause) And now you're at the top, what do you do? Admit that this is the best its ever going to get? No, you'll lose your crown. Getting there is easy, staying there is the hardest part...
MIKE: (from the back) Plus you have to beat the giant at the top of the beanstalk.
CHRIS: (Shouting) DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT FAILURE...I'm sorry. I'm divorced and just had a flashback...anyway, where do you gain the wisdom from? HA! From the tree of knowledge of course. And where can we find this wonderful tree? Why...its right here, before your very eyes...work people, bring in the tree of knowledge...
(Andy and Adam appear carrying in a big pot plant that is shaped like a tree)
CHRIS: Place it down for all to see and gaze at its beauty.
(Everybody is quiet)
CHRIS: What can you see?
(Student slowly puts up his hand)
STUDENT: A tree?
CHRIS: Not quite. Look a little more closely.
7 (Student again slowly puts their hand up)
STUDENTS: A tree with leaves?
CHRIS: YES! A tree with leaves. And oh no, what's this? A huge gust of wind blowing towards the tree!
(Chris starts blowing the tree)
CHRIS: But is it the wind or is a series of questions?
(Chris continues to blow as everyone looks slightly confused)
CHRIS: And are these leaves? Or are they the answer you've been searching for?
(Chris blows on the tree one more time)
CHRIS: The wind says “are the students going to pass their exam?” The leaves say “yes they will.” The wind says “are the students going to get the best results ever?” The leaves say “yes they will.” And if the leaves say you will pass, then you will pass.
(Camera pans on students who don't react. Scene fades to black)
(Scene fades back in to show Chris still talking to everyone)
CHRIS: Let me tell you, every leaf that falls to the ground, that is a little piece of you losing focus on your life. Between November and March, the leaves fall and die because you fail to grasp the opportunities put in front of you. Because you don't have the belief, the leaves die.
(Carl puts his hand up) 8 CARL: Isn't that period of time known as Autumn?
CHRIS: Only to people who don't believe. You tell me, wouldn't it be great if a tree existed where the leaves never died, who was always true and pure, who always stood up tall and proud and rose up to opportunity. If only such a tree existed!
CARL: It does. Its called an evergreen.
(short pause)
CHRIS: I did not think of that.
END OF SCENE
(Show some students relaxing after the talk. Some are running Cut to all staff in the staff room relaxing after the first talk.)
NARRATOR: In the staff room, the staff have a brief rest period before the second talk of the day. Added to the length of time they were in the hall, with no air conditioning, the staff are feeling exhausted.
SARAH: I'm pretty sure I'm melting in that room. Its so hot.
MIKE: Not as hot as in my pants!
SARAH: Shut up Mike!
CARL: I can't remember the last time I was that bored.
MARCO: I will make sure that you are never bored anymore, Carl.
CARL: Its OK thank you. 9 DAVID: You could always go plant a tree and widen your knowledge.
CARL: I already know everything. I'm very intelligent.
MARCO: I would love to hear your intellect Carl. Maybe later?
(Carl looks at Marco briefly)
CARL: I'm going for a smoke.
(Carl leaves. Marco looks a little upset)
MARCO: Is it something I said?
TOM: No. He's always grumpy. Get after him.
(Marco leaves in a camp way)
SARAH: Don't you ever get tired of tormenting him?
TOM: I could stop if you want, but then again, there'd be no reason to get out bed on a morning.
SARAH: I can think of one thing that would.
TOM: And that would be...
MIKE: (Coughs loudly) Sarah, can you round up the students for the second talk please?
(Mike gets up to leave up. Sarah doesn't move. Mike looks over at her.)
10 MIKE: That would be now Sarah please!
(Sarah tuts and places her hand on Tom's shoulder)
SARAH: Caesar has called. I'll speak to you later.
TOM: Alright.
(Tom watches Sarah leaves, turn back and briefly smiles at the camera.)
END OF SCENE
(Cut to Norman's office where Norman, Katie and Chris are stood)
NARRATOR: In Norman's office, Katie and Norman are reviewing Chris Simpkin's performance with the students and if they really got their money's worth.
NORMAN: Thank you Chris. That was...something else.
CHRIS: I was trained in London and at the RSC on how to deliver a speech. The best £375 I ever spent.
KATIE: I hope you kept the receipt.
CHRIS: It got lost in my dry cleaning. The leaves never told me that.
(Chris and Norman shake hands)
NORMAN: Thank you Chris. The cheque's in the post.
(Chris leaves. Katie turns to Norman)
11 KATIE: Seriously, you're going to pay him for that?
NORMAN: Of course, that was the agreement.
KATIE: Did you listen to that s**t he was saying? The leaves die if you don't ask them questions. Climbing the inspiration ladder? He couldn't climb out of his own piss!
NORMAN: Now wait a minute Katie...
KATIE: No, you wait a minute Norman. Its my money too in this school, so I get an equal say on how it gets spent and if you're saying that a guy who spends his time possibly making love to pot plants is best for business, then I'm sorry, I don't see it the same way.
NORMAN: OK, I'll admit, he wasn't what I expected he would be, but don't worry, we've still got one more speaker to go and by all accounts, he is an absolutely genius public speaker.
(Malcolm knocks on the office door)
MALCOLM: Do you have any loo roll in here? I've had to use my hand.
KATIE: On your head be it Norman.
(Katie leaves the room as Norman slumps on his desk)
END OF SCENE
(Cut to a scene where the students and staff are going back into the performance hall. Only Norman stands at the front now)
NARRATOR: With the time approaching half past one, everyone reassembles back to the hall for the second of today's talks in the hope that this one will be better than earlier. 12 NORMAN: Hello again everyone. Welcome to the second talk of the afternoon and I promise you, there are no trees in this one...
(a few laughs)
NORMAN: But hopefully, you're going to enjoy this talk and I hope it helps you in planning for your exams. You have a full prep day on your exams tomorrow with your teachers and then something fun in the evening, but now, I'd like to introduce to you to, from the recruitment company, Working 4 U, Mr. Malcolm Lord.
(Applause as Malcolm comes out)
MALCOLM: Who here is afraid of something?
(No-one puts their hand up)
MALCOLM: Come on! Everyone is afraid of something. Who's going to be brave enough to say what they're afraid of?
(A female student puts their hand up)
FEMALE STUDENT: Snakes?
MALCOLM: Snakes. OK, we've started, some others please.
STUDENT: The dark.
MALCOLM: The dark. All those ghosts and demons. What about some of your teachers?
(Carl puts his hand up)
CARL: I'm scared of water. A fear of drowning.
MALCOLM: Good. Thank you for admitting it. 13 MARCO: I'm here for you Carl.
MALCOLM: (pointing at Mike) And what about you, Sir?
MIKE: I'm fearless mate. Nothing scares me.
MALCOLM: You must be afraid of something.
CARL: (Shouting out) Homosexuals.
(People laugh)
MALCOLM: I don't want to know. But one of the most common fears is fear of failure. If you feel this, don't worry. I am here to help you. I just need to fetch someone to help me help you. My philosophy is I like me, I like you, I want you to like you. I'll be back very shortly.
(Malcolm leaves. Murmurs from the audience)
MIKE: Carlito, I'm going to kill you for that comment.
MARCO: You will have to go through me first.
(Whoops from some of the audience)
ZACK: He is going to bum you!
(Malcolm walks back in with a glove puppet on his hand. Some audience members go aww!)
MALCOLM: Can I introduce you to Cedric, my old faithful companion. He's going to help you get past your failure and put you on the path to exam success. First of all, Cedric needs to get to know you, so after three, I want you all to wave at Cedric, ready? One - two " three. 14 (Malcolm makes Cedric wave. The audience wave back)
MALCOLM: Cedric is happy to see you and wants to know about your exam. Can we talk to someone...
(Malcolm walks up to a male student)
MALCOLM: Hello, who are you?
MARIO: My name is Mario.
MALCOLM: You're not a super plumber are you?
MARIO: No.
MALCOLM: Shame, I could have used you to sort out my leaky tap. What are you going to be talking and writing about in your exam?
MARIO: AC Milan.
MALCOLM: And are you confident that you are going pass your exam?
MARIO: Yes, of course.
MALCOLM: Then tell Cedric then.
(Malcolm puts the glove puppet into Mario's eyeline)
MARIO: I am going to pass my exam.
MALCOLM: Good boy. Come along Cedric, lets ask someone else. 15 (Malcolm tries to walk off, but his hand doesn't move from Mario's eyeline. Cedric is still staring at Mario)
MALCOLM: Come on Cedric. He does this all the time. If he sees someone he likes, he gets lost in their eyes. And you are a very beautiful boy.
(Camera pans to Katie who is sat next to Norman)
KATIE: Oh my God...
(Camera pans back to Malcolm who is approaching a female student)
MALCOLM: Hello, what is your name?
CECILIA: Cecilia.
MALCOLM: Hello Cecilia. Would you like to say hello to Cedric?
(Cedric waves at Cecilia who waves back)
MALCOLM: I think Cedric really likes you. Are you scared about your exam?
(Cecilia nods)
MALCOLM: Cedric says its OK to be scared and he says that he wants to reassure you that everything will be alright for you. Can you just stand up for me please?
(Cecilia stands up and Cedric starts stroking her hair)
MALCOLM: No need to worry anymore, Cedric will make it all better.
(Katie is shown marching towards Malcolm and Cecilia)
16 KATIE: OK, you're done.
(Katie marches Malcolm out of the performance hall. She slams the door and turns around to the students)
KATIE: Right everyone, time for sport.
END OF SCENE
(Cut to show the activity staff playing football and volleyball with the students. Show Carl, Tom, David and Ian are walking over the field)
NARRATOR: After been stuck in the performance hall for most of the day, the teachers decide to stretch their legs and reflect on their day.
CARL: So what have we learnt from today's talks?
IAN: That leaves fall off the trees, not because of winter, but because we don't believe in ourselves.
DAVID: And that people aren't so inspirational when they have a puppet on their hand.
CARL: So, a complete waste of time then?
IAN: It would appear so.
DAVID: I'm off to the shop.
IAN: Think I'll come with you. In a bit you two.
(David and Ian leave while Carl and Tom keep walking across the field. Tom waves at Sarah, who waves back) 17 CARL: You never told me about you two.
TOM: There's nothing to tell Carl. Just mates, that's all.
CARL: I'd have thought if you were interested, you'd have made a move by now.
TOM: OK, Claire Rayner, thanks for the advice. Where's your mate, Liberace?
CARL: I gave him the slip. He's so annoying. He will not leave me. Do you know what it feels like to have someone latch onto you and never leave?
TOM: Surprisingly, yes I do.
MARCO: (from off screen) CU-EE!
TOM: I see the slip worked.
(Marco comes into shot)
MARCO: What a long day! Carl, I was wondering if you would like to go and get something to eat with me?
CARL: Well, that's very nice, but I'm going to the pub with Tom to watch football, drink bitter and talk about girls.
TOM: No we're not. You were going to alphabetise your CD collection from ABBA to Za Za Gabor, then you were going for a bath to pamper yourself, followed by white wine and a Mamma Mia DVD. I'll leave you two, whatever this is, alone.
(Tom walks off leaving Carl and Marco) 18 MARCO: I love Mamma Mia. I've seen it ten times.
END OF SCENE
(Cut to Norman and Katie arguing quietly in the office)
NARRATOR: The talks may not have achieved what they wanted, but the bigger problem could be financial. Norman and Katie had to delve deep into their own pockets to pay the speakers and Katie wonders why she wasn't consulted on the idea.
KATIE: I'm just saying I wouldn't have done this at all. Its a waste of time and money. OUR money!
NORMAN: They were the best that money could buy. I did my research on this one.
KATIE: Bullshit! You searched the internet and found the first ones that sounded important. A f*****g glove puppet! A Tree of Knowledge. I'll tell you what my tree of knowledge says, you're a prat! How much did it cost us?
NORMAN: Chris cost us £2,500 plus VAT.
KATIE: Oh sweet mercy...(she puts her head on the desk)
NORMAN: And Malcolm cost us a return taxi fare and a pack of mini Scotch Eggs.
(Katie lifts her head up)
KATIE: And that didn't tell you everything you needed to know about him? Honestly Norman, I love you, but sometimes, you're thicker than the soup they serve here.
END OF SCENE 19 (Cut to Sarah sat in the staff room by herself. Tom walks in)
TOM: Hey, what a day today's been.
SARAH: Yeah. I'm never going to look at a glove puppet the same way.
TOM: You know what I was saying the other day about going out..
SARAH: I've got to work till nine tonight.
TOM: How about I get some drinks in, just you and me?
(Nina, Zack and Adam enter)
NINA: Did I hear you say drinks tonight? Count us in.
ZACK: After today, I could drink a million pints!
NINA: Shall we go and tell the others? Drinks in the kitchen after work? Great idea Tom.
(The three leave)
SARAH: I take it they weren't originally part of your plans?
TOM: Got it one. Some other time then? Just us?
SARAH: We can have a few tonight. But it will happen, just you and me. We'll can catch up soon, I promise.
TOM: (getting up) Yep, I'll see you later. 20 SARAH: Tonight, Tommy Boy!
(Tom leaves)
END OF SCENE
(Cut to a pan shot of the Lawns at night)
NARRATOR: Its the end of a very long day at Stepan-Briggs. The students decided to watch a DVD rather than have an activity. This allowed the staff time to let their hair down and unwind.
(Cut to all staff, except Norman and Katie, are in the kitchen drinking. Marco is there too. Music is playing)
MIKE: Shall we play a drinking game?
NINA: What type of game?
MIKE: Roxanne. Everytime Sting sings Roxanne, we take a drink.
CARL: Can we just sit down and have a drink without it resorting to drinking games?
MARCO: Yes. Carl is very delicate. We are going to watch Mamma Mia in his room.
(All react)
CARL: No we're not. Look, no matter how hard you try, you won't get your wicked way!
MARCO: We'll see about that. Pass me and Carl some more wine.
21 DAVID: I don't suppose they recommend drinking games on the tree of knowledge.
NINA: Lets just turn the music up and get pissed!
(The music gets louder and some of the staff start dancing. Mike starts dancing with some of the girls)
TOM: (To Sarah) Do you fancy some air?
SARAH: Definitely.
(Tom and Sarah leave to go outside. The camera focuses on Mike watching them go.)
END OF SCENE
(Cut to Norman and Katie in the office)
NARRATOR: Its an hour since the shifts officially finished, but Norman and Katie are still hard at work in the office.
(Short Pause)
KATIE: Hey...
(Norman looks at her)
KATIE: I'm sorry for shouting at you. I know you're only trying to do your best for the students...and for me.
NORMAN: I'm sorry too. I should have asked your opinion. Its as much your business as it is mine.
(Katie stands up, goes up to Norman and kisses him on the forehead) 22 KATIE: I love you.
NORMAN: I love you too.
KATIE: I'm off to bed. Don't stay up too late.
NORMAN: I won't.
(Katie leaves. Norman smiles and goes back to writing)
END OF SCENE
(Cut back to Sarah and Tom who are outside talking)
TOM: What in the name of all that's holy was today about?
SARAH: Complete waste of time. The tree of knowledge and the perverted glove puppet.
TOM: Truly inspiring!
(Short Pause)
SARAH: Hey, I've got Saturday night off if you fancy taking me out for that meal you promised me.
TOM: What about Mike? Will he change your shift again?
SARAH: I'll make sure he doesn't. So, I hope you take me somewhere with fine dining. I've got expensive taste.
(Mike comes outside behind the two)
23 TOM: Damn it. And its curry night down at the local.
(Sarah laughs. Mike walks up)
MIKE: Tom, Carl wants a word with you about tomorrow's prep day.
TOM: He picks his moments doesn't he?
(Tom goes back in)
MIKE: Sarah, can I ask you something?
END OF SCENE
(Cut back to the kitchen. Only Nina, Carl and Marco are there now)
NINA: Bloody lightweights going to bed.
(Tom enters)
TOM: Carl, what did you want to talk to me about?
CARL: Nothing why?
TOM: Mike just said you needed me for something?
MARCO: I think that's my job now.
TOM: So you don't need anything?
NINA: We need more wine. Its in the other kitchen along the corridor. Can you fetch it over Tom? 24 TOM: Sure. I'll be erm...back in a minute.
(Tom leaves. Music continues to play. Characters drink. Mike and Sarah enter)
SARAH: Hey guys, I'm off to bed. Tom around?
NINA: Gone to get more wine.
SARAH: OK. Mike's just coming to mine to borrow a DVD and then he's off to his own room.
MIKE: Absolutely. I know that no means no.
(Sarah and Mike leave)
CARL: Well I suppose I'm off to bed too. Big day tomorrow.
MARCO: Can I come too? You promised me that film.
CARL: OK, but just to shut you up!
NINA: Go Carl! Be gentle with him Marco!
MARCO: He can be as rough as he wants with me!
(Carl and Marco leave just as Tom walks back in)
MARCO: Would you like to join us Tom?
TOM: Oh my God! No!
25 MARCO: Good. More of Carl for me!
TOM: There is an image I could do without.
(He pours a glass of wine for Nina and himself)
TOM: Where's Sarah?
NINA: Gone to her room with Mike.
TOM: With Mike?
NINA: Yeah. After all she said about him.
TOM: (Looking shocked) Yeah...
NINA: She'd be so much better if she was with you...if I were with you then...
(Tom looks at Nina)
TOM: Bring the wine and come with me.
NINA: Where are we going?
TOM: My room.
(Both get up and walk off towards Tom's room. The camera follows them. They go into the room. The door shuts. The camera pans out again.)
(Short Pause)
26 SARAH: (voice from inside her room) Mike, I've told you. Not now, not ever. Now get out!
(The door opens and Mike comes out as if he's been thrown out. The door shuts. He looks and smiles at the camera and walks off the other way. The camera stays focused on the closed doors.)
END OF SCENE
THE END
27 © 2013 T M Atkinson |
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Added on September 3, 2013 Last Updated on September 3, 2013 Author
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