When I took another
step forward, I looked on my either side; murky darkness and sans anything
else. Just the whispering of the deathly silence is to be heard. My steps
coming to a dead standstill and I looked behind to find the same eerie silence
following me. Why is there no sign of any
life around me? I reassured myself that everything is all right...everything
is just normal and it’s going to be
so.
So with this
feeling...or perhaps with disillusion, I moved on, don’t know where I was
leading myself into. I was wishing...no...I was craving for the presence of
someone...anyone to accompany me on my way, even if it has to be my own shadow.
As my steps were
going on and on not knowing where, I could feel that something was trying to
embrace me hardly, it feels so heavy, so rudely cold and yet so fiery and...and
so ...so atrocious!! I armed my arms around my chest to protect myself from
that thing, whatever it is.
Suddenly, my ears
pricked to the plaintive cry coming from somewhere. It’s imbued with so much
keen anguish. I stopped on the dot, biting my trembling lower lip and looked
around to find the producer of this doleful moan.
“Hello, who’s
there?”, I called out in as dulcet voice as I can afford to. But that’s an
insult for me for being so nice and getting no response. “Hello?” I called out
again, this time with an irksome tone; probably I was more terrified than
irritated. The wailing was getting louder and louder, I could hear the sobbing
so vividly that it made me felt that I was crying inside my heart. I
unconsciously started portraying myself, sitting in the corner in this darker
than black room, my face buried in my arms and...and I could actually feel the
tears flowing down my cheeks. I instantly jumped out of this imbecile illusion,
this wailing was becoming unbearable, the tears were tearing myself
apart...into pieces...into thousand pieces...thousand useless pieces!!!
“Cut it off!”, I
bawled in sheer aggression...not aggression, but pain. “Whoever you are...just
stop crying!!”, I yelled out, toiling harder not to let that illusion take over
my reality.
Just then, the
killing sobbing stopped. I heaved a sigh of relief. But then I could espy an
area becoming alive, phosphorescing.
I could see the
lustrous brown shoes and the auburn skirt caressing the dusty dark murky ground
as the light commences. Then the light was slowly bestowed on the anterior
posture, my jaw dropped down in cadaverousness. The lustrous red hair flowing
down the shoulders like a pure cascade, the face buried in the arms which were
hugging the folded legs.
I could see her,
sitting in torn distress and bloody tears. I don’t know why I felt my flesh
creeping. I was feeling outrageously heavy suddenly, nastily cold. I was
trembling...out of anguish or out of fear...out of what? I just don’t know the
answer. Or perhaps I knew it...
Am I just pretending to be so ignorant? Am I
trying to erase the true answer...and the true picture of the person
distressingly sitting before me in this murky darkness? Ignoring the reality
and embracing illusions?
This bestial
loneliness was getting harder and colder on me. It was juddering me nastily as if in another second my hands will
be pulled off from my body. But still it was burning like an inferno inside me
and yet it’s making my body numb with cold.
Is it
already too late? Too late to take my rotting aggressive words back? Too late
to get them back in my life? Too late to escape from this murky loneliness?
Is it already too late to say “I am extremely
sorry”!!
Let not your anger
control you...because when anger becomes your master, you become a lifeless
servant.
Amazing story :) One thing I would like to say is that the quote in Author's note is awesome, so very true and mesmerizing quote. The story reminds of a chapter from naruto, where he meets his darker side under the waterfall, wrapped in aggression, anger, sadness and how he comes over it. yes, anger is bad, its evil, its killer but, we don't become strong by suppressing anger, if we try to suppress anger it takes and even deadlier form, when we are angry we need someone stronger than darkness to hold us grab us and take the anger on him/herself and the pass it to the void it came from. Its always healthy to let out your anger and if a person takes your anger with a smiling face and grabs you to give a tight hug after that, don't blame yourself for being rude,, but thank the person to be there for you and strengthen the bond you both share :D Knowing you and you sisters I am very sure that you all will be together no matter what helping each other out :)
and as I call myself, I say same to the story "Its Great" :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Hey heheheh…thanks for the appreciation you have made for my author's note…I don't know…but ca.. read moreHey heheheh…thanks for the appreciation you have made for my author's note…I don't know…but can I say that I've taken little wisdom from you heheh…and naruto…hey don't make me feel jealous about it…I haven't watched that or any wpisode except the first two…it's unfair.
But anyway…thanks a lot brother. And I totally agree with you,that if we get angry ,we should let out but only and only if that person takes that with a smile!! What if the person doesn't take it that way? What is the answer then…the person blurting out his or her anger feels guilty !!
A nice question, what if the person don't take your anger with a smiling face? The answer is simple,.. read moreA nice question, what if the person don't take your anger with a smiling face? The answer is simple, don't be angry, anger is state of mind when a person is incapable or doing, receiving, helping someone or some thing which means a lot to him, so if you are angry it means it concerns very close matter or person. In case, you are angry on a person(and let it out on him/her) it means you are sure that person is capable of taking your anger and not hating you in return, or simply that you don't care about a person or you don't have any attachment to that person. Have you ever felt like you are super angry on a rickshaw driver and then you eat it up so that it might not hurt him? or have you ever been angry on a random person not wishing you on your b'day? Its just that humans due to their nature only show their anger to someone whom they trust, that is why when you are angry with you dad you run to mom and complain her, or when to mom go to dad and complain, or to sister go to other sis or to parents. Believe that if you have said something to a person in anger, deep inside you know they'll understand it maybe not at the exact moment but, in coming time. :) If they don't just move to the other person you are sure of and burst out on him/her :D
11 Years Ago
Oh mine!! Nice piece of advice…question well answred!! You passed!!!:P :P
strong words of dark passion forge this fiery inferno of a work
it burns within our minds with its imagery, and is not easily forgotten for the same
if this is what you are capable of, i should enjoy seeing more from you
-Dream
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
thanks for the uplifting review. glad you liked it. will try to keep it up.
anger leads to downfall
its true, but at times we need to find the outlet for inner anger as otherwise it might suffocate us.
a nice story written in interesting manner.
best wishes
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
thanks you. and yes,it should find an exit becomes if we just let it be there, it accumulates until .. read morethanks you. and yes,it should find an exit becomes if we just let it be there, it accumulates until it burst out like an inferno.
very 'angry'
really great.
tell you something funny
i get by my furniture everyday and that keep me calm...
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thanks. By the way.I didn't get it
11 Years Ago
usually in the morning i behave rude and suddenly i hit by the door or s'thing and i starts smiling.. read moreusually in the morning i behave rude and suddenly i hit by the door or s'thing and i starts smiling...
11 Years Ago
Rude early in the morning? Ahhh…I guess they knock your brain telling you its of no use.
Augh ! Text is TOO BIG ! (Can't say I cannot read it !) :D
I - honestly - have never heard sobbing when I hallucinate. I hear voices, laughter, dishes breaking, screaming, fighting going on and a lotta yelling and insults - but never crying.
Hang in there - and no - one should never apologize to oneself. It's bad enough to talk to oneself but to carry on an apologetic conversation would be the brink for me. :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Really, is it too big? But it’s only 24. I shall reduce it if you want me to.
Your hallucina.. read moreReally, is it too big? But it’s only 24. I shall reduce it if you want me to.
Your hallucination sounds a bit commotive (“dishes breaking, screaming, fighting going on and a lotta yelling and insults”) save that “laughter” part.
11 Years Ago
Yah, that's if I don't take my meds at night which I do. I'm classified schizoaffective and hebephre.. read moreYah, that's if I don't take my meds at night which I do. I'm classified schizoaffective and hebephrenic. And yes, any size from 17-pixels down is pretty good. I wrote my novel Barrier in 17-pixel Trebuchet.
11 Years Ago
"schizoaffective and hebephrenic"... i'm sorry but i don't know what they mean. is the former derive.. read more"schizoaffective and hebephrenic"... i'm sorry but i don't know what they mean. is the former derived from "schizophrenic" ?
Yah well - some people spend their whole life trying to know who they are. I've been told what I am so - in a way I guess I can say - that part I don't have to try and figure out now.
yeah there are some people who doesn't have even a clue about themselves, for eg :me... a self-aware.. read moreyeah there are some people who doesn't have even a clue about themselves, for eg :me... a self-awareness test showed me that.
and i have did just as you have suggested.
11 Years Ago
You might talk to your doctor about a FIRO-B as well. That is a personality assessment test and I di.. read moreYou might talk to your doctor about a FIRO-B as well. That is a personality assessment test and I did several of those (meaning I graded them) when I worked for my Dad as office manager for 5-years who in turn worked at home as a psychologist, Ph.D.