The immortals

  The Immortals

 

When the heinous winds rides the land

marching from the death valley

When the great mountains fail to stand

and the earth dreads in the cyclone's rally.

 

 

When the deafening clouds bangs

poisoning the world with their fangs.

When the sun breathes in life

That is when the Immortals rise.

 

The sky fizzle with  their roar

the sea beats the drum at the shore

On seeing the immortals with their arms

the heinous winds lies calm.

 

With their hands many sores get healed

With their arms many souls get revived

With their rise the sun breathes out life

With their fall ...the firmament cries.

Alas!Such Immortals are now hard to find.

 

 

Author's Note

i actually got reminded of something:
"Immortals are those who touch the hearts of millions
Immortals are those who has laid their souls for the sake of millions
Immortals are those who has healed the millions
Immortals are those who are the MORTALS like those millions"
this was the starting part of my speech which was one of the parts of my exams...
it's a dedication to those great peoples who has worked and had strive for humanity..i have tried to make it as better as i can..,if you writers think that there is any mstake in it or anything that could make it batter then please tell me!!

Reviews

[Rhianne Ney]

I don't see any mistake here and I actually applaud you for doing such a great job (:
this is a great masterpiece I should say since it was differentiating Immortals from Mortals I don't want to be an immortal though since that would mean that I should live forever without having the thing that most people feared...

100/100

[The dark story]

oh wow...thanks for this lovely review..it really means a lot
but i actually didn't get what did you meant there " without having the thing that most people feared..."...would you please tell me!!

[Rhianne Ney]

Death, we people fear that right because sometimes I wonder where we will go after. Bible says that we're all going back to dust and I can't imagine that yet

[The dark story]

Oh now I got it…have you ever read the poem mbecause I couldn't stop for deathm…itms an awesome poem…do read it sometime…it also came in my board exam…
And yeah that's true…this is what we are made of…but actually our deeds will decide our destiny for eternity…that is heaven or hell!!

[Rhianne Ney]

Are you preparing for college?

[The dark story]

I should say that I am preparing for college but I am just a first year std right now(11 grade)…n u?

[Rhianne Ney]

I seee, I just finished 3rd year of High School and this time's vacation, You know, Philippines' education is different

[The dark story]

Umm third grade of high school??? I couldn't get that one…you mean finished ur tenth grade??…my vacations are over already…nthey were nastly boring…I was just sketching anime girls n nuffing else…glad to be back to school!!…school days are much more awesome than my vacations!!

[Rhianne Ney]

We don't have a Middle School in the Philippines. Anyways, it's great that you love school also

[Pax]

an inspiring piece... full of appreciation of who had passed and touched every living soul... they were imortalized in the pages of history... they will always be remembered.. Great write!

[The dark story]

thanks for the uplifting review!!

[Souladareatease]

quite the honorary write!!!
I Love it!!!
Indeed Immortals...You capture their greatness well!!!

[The dark story]

I am glad that it did work the way I wanted…thanks a tonne for this nice review

[An owl on the moon]

Your words bring about the wondrous beauty and gift of these immortals who have walked among us. I truly was moved by both your poetry and your note. May the immortals rise again to lead us to a better place.

[The dark story]

Thanks for this outstanding review

[Akhand Pratap Singh]

Amazing, and if that's what you included in your exams believe me you gonna score good :) amazing poem with amazing description, the repetition is nice decoration to the piece and quite exiting and interesting topic of the people who live forever in our heart, in memories and in our action.

[The dark story]

i did..it was in 9th oral and aural exam...i hope it was in my board exams...anyway thanks for this sublime review..iam glad that you find it amazing..i was quite nervous when i came back after my exams so i thought it might lack behind...thanks again for the upliftment!!

[Akhand Pratap Singh]

You never stop to amaze me, you are a brilliant writer and very creative and thoughtful person, keep up the good work with loads of confidence and you will rock it :D

[The dark story]

whoa!!i'll try to keep it up...but the credit should be given to you..you're my inspiration and it's because of you i started writing poems:D so thank,s a lot!!

[Akhand Pratap Singh]

To tell you the truth, I feel awkward being inspiration of such brilliant writer doesn't suits me :P but yeah am proud I gave rise to such amazing talent

[The dark story]

what awkward???..hey now where's that cool "i'm so great" personality of yours????...i found myself fortunate one to read your inspiring poems

[Akhand Pratap Singh]

Definitely I am great but, being inspiration is not my kind :P Anyways I am more than happy to have inspired you ^_^

[Empirik]

I love the repetition here. Good job! Also, your author's note is great too. :)

[The dark story]

oh thanks a lot for this kind review!!