Who to follow??

Who to follow??

The more i go away from you

The more close i found you 

The more I say i don't care

The more I cry for you over here

The more I say i hate you

The more I fall in love with you

The more I say you are worthless

The more you seem to be priceless

The more I resist you

The more I crave for you

Mirthful is the fray of mind and heart

Mind tells me to stay apart

but my heart knows...sans you,I am my life's lifeless part!!!!!

Author's Note

please tell me what do you think??

Reviews

[Moniba]

Very nice, Atiba.. Just read it over and make a few grammatical corrections to turn this into an officially beautiful poem.. Mostly we don't mind or point out the grammatical mistakes here much, but in your case, since your writing is very good, i'm pointing it out... Because grammatical mistakes are very distracting..

[The dark story]

yeah sure pls tell me i welcome your views and ifaythg can ake it better...so why should we wait for it...buti cant mae d ammendmnt right now cause y keyboard has ost it senses,that is cearly visile here!!

[The dark story]

lpease tell me my mistakes so that i can make the sorrection!!

[The dark story]

lpease tell me my mistakes so that i can make the sorrection!!

[The dark story]

lpease tell me my mistakes so that i can make the sorrection!!

[Moniba]

I'll mail them to you as soon as I can concentrate on that ;)

[Jack Necron (Aubrey Jac..]

I like the structure of this, one action leading to an opposing reaction and the conflict within ourselves. Your words flow smoothly and the closing lines ring out the loudest, ending on a strong note. Just because we say one thing doesn't mean we don't feel another. Thank you for sharing!

[The dark story]

Thanks for buying your time and reading it :) very glad

[Jack Necron (Aubrey Jack Peaslee)]

You are welcome!

[Adam Adams]

"Mind tells me to stay apart
but my heart knows...sans you,I am my life's lifeless part!!!!!"

very well...
short. simple. quick-witted. raw. fertile. & absolutely way eye-catching! liked the coloring of your "redish-swedish" words as well. brilliant, it is. red's my fav. esp. when it comes to nudging hot mamis.

yeah, indeed it's so true saying that mind & heart both're just a contradiction to soul. one says, "YES".. the other claims, "NO".. and we're all unbound with.. in such paradox of life coiled in the analogies of love-edge. very deep... & heartfelt poetry here. amazingly penned!

[The dark story]

Thanks for this keen analysis. Glad to see that you enjoy my works and looks deep into them. Thanks a lot :)

[Cassie]

I loved the flow, you have your way with words ahh!!! nicely penned

[The dark story]

Thanks for the upliftment. Glad you liked it

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
I like the part where you say, "Mirthful is the fray of mind and heart." That is really eloquently written ! And yes, we all have our masque in life. We all at one point have portrayed ourselves as something we are not, sometimes to protect ourselves, sometimes because we are so afraid of letting others know who the true us really is.

[The dark story]

thanks!

[Emily Feret]

The more we try to hide from our emotions and feelings the more they hit us hard, in the face! This was a strong piece

[The dark story]

yeah that's true and thanks a lot for the review.

[InsanityWriter]

Simple and sweet. :)

[The dark story]

glad you found it sweet

[khalid]

very nice love and passion expressed in a very nice way..and yes, love is really strange..

[The dark story]

thanks

[Rhianne Ney]

I think that the lines here were plausible and carefully placed with the main point of letting the people know what you really feel. Great job here and I hope you're doing well (:

[The dark story]

thanks for the compliment Rhianna and yeah i am perfectly cool though i am kinda bored because i jhave got nothing to do after my exams...i'm missing my studies and my school:(

[Rhianne Ney]

I'm on vacation too (: and I don't know why but when it's vacation I don't give attention to anything already, and besides you can always hang in WC(: I'm actually managing two sites and have to jumble them but it was still fun staying here

[The dark story]

Only if Ican hang on WC…when I was having my board exams the net pack was unlimiyted and when my exams got over…it became nill…n now my sis are having therems so they wonmt come around with me…:( :( my bad!!

[The dark story]

Only if Ican hang on WC…when I was having my board exams the net pack was unlimiyted and when my exams got over…it became nill…n now my sis are having therems so they wonmt come around with me…:( :( my bad!!

[Rhianne Ney]

(: I see hoping to see you back in action (:

[Souladareatease]

A very sweet work!!!
shining indeed!!!

[The dark story]

thanks

[Renée]

I think your thoughts are lovely.. love is certainly a push me, pull me thing at times !
What parts of your poem are you concerned with luv?

[The dark story]

thanks for buying time for my poem..it means a lot and i am sorry i couldn't get you what you have asked there?

[Renée]

it was a pleasure to read..I just saw ur authors note..thought there was an area you wanted looked at with a different eye..

[The dark story]

ohohohoh...actually i am not used to writing love poems ..this is my first shot..so i was wondering whether it's okay or not!!

[Renée]

lol..I shall have to see if you have done others since ( :
it is always right when it is from the heart

[The dark story]

oh yeah that's true!!