Fearless.

A Story by AIMEE

Seventeen came and went. Katy gaped out the window, her fragile heart not finding the words she so desperately needed to explain it all.

But her hope faded to grays and blacks, while the sky seemed to mock her with its beautiful radiance, the brilliance of the morning contrasting with her grief.

But she would make it through the moment.

And so many others.

Seventeen was supposed to be full of boyfriends and popularity and dancing at senior prom. So why did she have to watch her hair fall in clumps around her pillow as she woke up earlier this morning?

One more hour and she would take a walk, try to excercise somehow hoping it would boost her immune system in some tiny way, but Katy had no way of knowing if she would even wake up to see God's beautiful sunrise. Each day the thought lingered that God wouldn't bring a beautiful man along before she breathed her last.

Silly girl. Katy tip-toed out of bed, careful not to wake her mom who slept in the faded navy love seat a few feet away. Her mom was beautiful. Whenever she spoke, it always reminded Katy of the song "Bubbly" or "Little things," even though she never sang that much. Katy always dreamed that her mom was a famous songwriter with an affectionate nation of fans waiting for her to sing loudly her favorite song, which of course was Caillat's "Feeling's Show."

But then Katy would wake up and realize she and her mom were stuck in a hospital room. There was nothing romantic about these days. But somehow Katy kept hoping in a beautiful ending. The Savior-King, a man her mom always talked about whenever either of them would become discouraged, usually in the middle of the night while Katy was super sick, or when Katy's and Mom's sobs mingled, becoming too much for the both of them.

"Jesus I don't know where.....or when You'll show up and show off," Katy's blue eyes gently closed as she tried to imagine his face. She felt so much younger than seventeen today, being so honest, her porcelain heart laid bare before Him. "But I know You work behind the scenes, often in ways I can't even imagine." A passing thought brought a slow, genuine smile to Katy's face, lighting up her eyes. Katy almost forgot the power a smile could bring. "Sometimes your glory is found in the messiest moments. Like here. Now. Jesus teach me to be...." her heart stumbled over the words, "fearless."

Today.....such a long, interminable 24 hours of waiting... would be a day for an adventure, her faith journey, so gradual, but so full of hope. Katy grasped at this tiny hope like the last life preserve in a storm, causing the raging sea to toss and churn.