Be nice,Don't think twice,
Or else I'll rise!
No! Then you can't contain,
You can't sustain,
All you'll get is strain..
A lot more than you wanted,
All this for taking me for granted!
You can try me,
But never lie to me..
I'll do what I want to,
I know there's nothing I can't do!
Stop there! You can't bear,
Another step, and I'll tear,
Your mind, so weak,
Needs a tweak, or else I swear,
It'll break!
So don't take me to an other level,
'Cuz I can be a f*cking rebel!!
It's a short poem i wrote when i was in my class! :)
I think it's something that all the teens can relate to! :) And i'll really be pleased if everybody could understand the intensity of this poem in the same way!
Not one of my best, but still, feel free to leave your reviews and suggestions! :)
My Review
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Being a teenager is far from black and white, but the passion of being one is. Choices are black and white, you either intensely feel for something, or intensely don't care. It is a great way to be, but is only one aspect of the whole package of youth. It was awesome, incredible, amazing, terrible, dreadful and soul destroying too. On one hand you have infinite possibilities, but on the other, people see teenagers as another species, which I guess they are, but it's no bad thing. I still have the mind of a teenager, with hopes, ambitions and fears, but unfortunately, the packaging I came in has changed into somewhat disappointing grey. The grey in my hair is the only rebellious streak left visible, but I still feel the furious energy of youth in my mind.
It was a time of wonder and confusion in equal measure. I wouldn't want to go through it again, but what a ride it was.
You capture perfectly the voice of youth, which is a voice too often ignored. Old enough to die for your country, but too young to have a beer legally. Something is wrong with that statement.
Great job on this, kudos.
Very good to be a rebel.
"So don't take me to an other level,
'Cuz I can be a f*cking rebel!!"
Better to stand your ground and hold your belief. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
Being a teenager is far from black and white, but the passion of being one is. Choices are black and white, you either intensely feel for something, or intensely don't care. It is a great way to be, but is only one aspect of the whole package of youth. It was awesome, incredible, amazing, terrible, dreadful and soul destroying too. On one hand you have infinite possibilities, but on the other, people see teenagers as another species, which I guess they are, but it's no bad thing. I still have the mind of a teenager, with hopes, ambitions and fears, but unfortunately, the packaging I came in has changed into somewhat disappointing grey. The grey in my hair is the only rebellious streak left visible, but I still feel the furious energy of youth in my mind.
It was a time of wonder and confusion in equal measure. I wouldn't want to go through it again, but what a ride it was.
You capture perfectly the voice of youth, which is a voice too often ignored. Old enough to die for your country, but too young to have a beer legally. Something is wrong with that statement.
Great job on this, kudos.
Nice piece, love the rhythm in it, I'd stay most of that comes from the rhyming lines ( mainly the aa rhymes.) one thing that confused me a little was the aa bbb cc start.
Also careful with the slants: (bear, tear (like to rip) , swear) and ( weak, tweak, break ) reads a little funny.
I like your voice in this though - never mind my critiques - I can feel this
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thanks for the time and review .. i'll keep that in mind! ;) Really appreciate it..
Good rhyme scheme there. This poem easily signifies the mindset if a young, angry teenager. Always vibrant, ready to face anything on it's way. At some point we all go through this. :)
I'm 18.
I've been writing poems since for a while now..Most of the poems i write are based on my feelings..
The poems i write are mostly unorthodox and i tend to keep it that way! ;)
Also love t.. more..