Open Eyes

Hello. 

I’ll not be mean.

Just want to ask 

why do you hold

to pain that’s keen?

You’re seventeen.

Oh God, you’re young.

But you’re already that mean.

Where are those things 

that make you smile?

Did you feel happy

at least for a while?

Just look around.

What do you see?

The forest, lake

or raging sea?

What do you smell?

The mowing? Gas?

Or your mother’s Christmas cake?

And then, what can you hear?

How many sounds to you appear?

Is it a bird that sings at dawn?

Or your brother giving yawn?

Let’s be honest 

we all think

that in yourself you’ve deeply sink.

Open eyes, 

don’t grimly smile,

and please, believe me, 

it’s worthwhile. 

Reviews

[Antoñyo]

Wow, this is on the border of beautiful and brilliance.
Thanks for sharing

[Narayan Lama Aviral Yat..]

Please read as " in your lines " instead of " in your rhymes" in the sixth and seventh lines of this review . This has been due to the keyboard slip.

[Narayan Lama Aviral Yat..]

"Open eyes , Don't grimly smile ." How lovely lines these are ! This piece of poetry can be a best way to touch and stir the hearts of those who are introverts and sink within themselves . Using simple but poetic language , you have made fantastically fine efforts to express your emotional feelings in this poem and that's what a poet requires to be creative. You have also made a wise use of rhymes in your rhymes that make the sound sweet. Please also pay attention to the use of other figures like similes, metaphors, symbols and images.Nice piece. I would like to appreciate it .