waves on the streets

all i had yearned for

is to feel you at my back

as we watch a calming view at dusk

 

all that we need

is to take our feet for a lift

and let the speed whisper our relief

 

all that is there to hear

is the mingling of our waters

as we cut through the highways

 

all that is clear

are the waves in the freeways

they’re real impossibilities

 

and all that is there

is a long journey i’ll travel

until the dusk permits 

to let the night

                                               take me

       with his

             wishes.

  " alt="">

Reviews

[seath]

the journey, is as being deciphered from the lines, "watching the calming view at dusk" is connotative and apathetic to the constraints of time, that's why it is as if conflicting, this verse could offer a red chordate expression and the gleaming black sickle imagery,,,

[Sir Joe]

I think the poetic persona misses picking someone up at 5:30 or 6 pm (dusk) with his motorcycle(probably). I'm not so sure about this but I really think it's about a vehicular travel; the poetic persona being the driver. It cannot be just a walk because the first stanza clearly says that the speaker misses to have someone right t his back. If it's a walk, then the two of them should be alongside each other. The journey from the origin to the destination must have lasted for several minutes, as suggested by the last stanza. The ending makes me think that the speaker leaves to the fates whatever is going to happen next. It's like saying, "whatever will be will be".

I commend you for coming up with this nicely-written piece. Uhmm just a thought. I think you have overlooked the conflict of tenses in the first two lines of the poem.

The richness in figures of speech makes it more poetic and appealing to the ears. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece. =)

[Shane's Alter Ego (Shan..]

Apart from the deeper message that you would want to convey in this poem about your wishes, it also reflects your love for occasional adrenaline rush and thrill.
You enjoy traveling and wandering in your thoughts and in places where your emotions would lead you.
I believe fate gives you surprising opportunities to make your wishes come true.
I like this piece.