The Invocation of Azura

The rays from the New Moon fall on me.
In haphazard rivulets of silvery light.
I close my eyes with glee
Forgetting my archaic fight.

I soak in the power
The milky rays give me.
I feel I can do all but cower.
I had never felt so free.

As I sat in my silent reflection,
You stalked your prey.
As I cracked an eye in confusion,
Your blow fell upon where I lay.

The rivers of light now flow gleaming
Of my dark essence.
As I lay bleeding,
You overshadow my presence.

As I near the end I wonder,
"Is this death that now stalks me
As you did in the days foregone?
Does He not know that I am free

From Him and you?
Does He not see
That I am immune?"

Author's Note

Ignore grammar and spelling errors, other than that, review harshly please.

Reviews

[Celestine Astraea Fires..]

I know you said to ignore grammar and spelling, but it's my specialty and I am also having a bit of a hard time reading it.

First, in your title, "Envocation" isn't a word in the dictionary. Were you meaning invocation or evocation? The title is the first thing people see, which is the only reason why I wanted to ask. =P

Now you really don't need so many commas, and the reason I say this is because it seems like a huge run on. A comma injects a pause and I think it makes the reading of your poem a bit choppy. Also, because it is a poem, you don't have to use comma's or periods at the end of your statement if you do not wish to. So here's my suggested layout and word suggestions.
Line 1 - Omit the comma, add a period.
Line 2 - Omit the word "in". Omit the comma, add a period.
Line 3 - Omit the word "and" (it ensues the long run-on sentence). Omit the comma.
Line 4 - I have no qualms about line 4.
Line 5 - Omit the comma
Line 6 - Omit the comma, add a period.
Line 7 - Omit the word "and" (it ensues the long run-on sentence). Omit the comma, add a period.
Line 8 - 12 I have no qualms
Line 13 - Omit the comma
Line 14 - Omit the word "off"
Line 15 - 16 I have no qualms
Line 17 - I rearranged your sentence from "I wonder as I near the end," to "
As I near the end I wonder, ". Keep the comma.
Line 18 - Omit the question mark
Line 19 - I have no qualms
Line 20 - Omit the question mark
Line 21 - I have no qualms
Line 22 - Omit the comma
Line 23 - Add a quotation mark at the end


The rays from the New Moon fall on me.
Haphazard rivulets of silvery light.
I close my eyes with glee
Forgetting my archaic fight.

I soak in the power
The milky rays give me.
I feel I can do all but cower.
I had never felt so free.

As I sat in my silent reflection,
You stalked your prey.
As I cracked an eye in confusion,
Your blow fell upon where I lay.

The rivers of light now flow gleaming
Of my dark essence.
As I lay bleeding,
You overshadow my presence.

As I near the end I wonder,
"Is this death that now stalks me
As you did in the days foregone?
Does He not know that I am free

From Him and you?
Does He not see
That I am immune?"

I adore the feel of your poem going from being at peace to being stalked.

[Aria]

this was interesting. imagery is on key and so was most of the flow. the last two stanzas in a way lost fuel for me. But, the message in the end brings the fire right back. good work.

[SamBug]

good job

[Alexander Fox]

Deep man. I LOVED this poem. I can't even critique. Amazing.