Confusion and Ramblings

I wrote this a few years ago, when I was separated by distance from my fiance.

Part 1:

 

And yet the days string on like warm oatmeal.

Pushing in on my eyes and throat.

The dread falls out of my mouth like vomit and I am

utterly consumed.

 

Sometimes, my body compresses between two iron boards of indecision.

Squeezing, squeezing.

And I can feel all pain, and know it well.

 

Sometimes, my body swells up

watery and disjointed,

and I am numbed, thank God, for an hour.

 

In the library last Tuesday, as the rain came down hard outside these

grey, grey walls,

I cried.

 

Among the words and smell of dusted paper

I felt longing, I felt fear.

 

My heart had gone from me.

I knew no salvation.

 

The words were a comfort, and an inconvenience.

I wanted them as my own, and yet they were not my own.

Not even they.

 

I stared at them with envy.

"Why am I here?" I asked them.

"Why do I feel obligated to breathe for you?"

No answer came.

 

Someone walked by.

I hated them.

The clanking of keys as they shuffled along the books,

My books.

 

Jingling the jail keys.

 

"I hate you," I thought.

"I hate you with all of my being.

You with your feindish smile and your lying gums."

 

My whisper was too soft, or else

I could not speak at all....

Author's Note

Reviews please!
Photography is also my work (Glenwood Cemetary, Houston, Texas)

Reviews

[ReaThoughts]

The scene you set for this poem is impeccable. The way the poem is written reminds me of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and that is part of the reason I enjoyed it so much. A wonderful poem that was dark and yet so beautiful. Thank you for sharing it!

[Sophie]

A little weird but I still really liked it :)