Intro into character

A sample of my rewritten novel, which helps to introduce you to my main character.

She was no one of particular consequence; in fact, one might pass her by and not even know she existed. As painful as it was, she was fully and completely aware of what people saw her as, and she felt confined by it, as if her fate had already been decided and she had no say in it. A timid thing she was, and one who preferred the shadows to the crowded streets. The noise and confusion disoriented her, making her claustrophobic.

      

She was young and knew not of her own name, having been abandoned before words where known to her. Dried mud plastered her dark, tanned skin and tattered clothing. Her raven black hair was matted and twisted, since combs were of no use to her. All that did not look beaten down and despondent was her emerald-green eyes. Deep within them one could see a fire burning in her soul, and the understanding and knowledge far beyond her tender, young years.

The knowledge of time and its passing did not belong to her, save for the time between sunrise and sunset. Of which, the latter was about to occur. The sun became a giant ball of fire that moved across the sky with amazing speed, lighting the sky, which ignited with vibrant colours of red, orange and pink. They danced across the horizon above the cramped, mud-brick homes that made the largest city in the desert.

As quickly as the sun flashed across the sky, kindling it with colours, the darkness crept in with greater speed, aiding in the movement of those who chose to find a fortune in alternative ways. Among those was the young girl without a name or age, staring out of an alleyway with her green eyes faintly illuminating the darkness surrounding her. She cautiously peeked her head around the corner and saw the street o be deserted.

 

Author's Note

I wanted to go in a completely different direction than my previous writing and since I'm a huge fan of Tolkien and some of the more classical fantasy novels, I tried to give it more of a grown-up feel.

Reviews

[Charlie]

So far, so good. The writing is good, above average, way above. Makes me want to find out more about this character.