Mall Madness

Another one of my Dream Chronicle stories. This time, though, it's a finished short story that eventually I might change into a novel. Who knows what'll happen!

          I sat in the car, waiting. Why, why did my mom always have to stop and talk to everyone she meets! I heard the car door slam and turned to see Jenny slide into the brand new Mercedes Mom bought last week. “Hey.” Jenny muttered, dragging her red soccer cleats across the leather seats.

                “Hey. So, when do you think our moms will stop talking and actually drive us to the big game?” I replied.

                “Hmm, let’s see, never!” We giggled and fell back into awkward silence again.

                “Want to listen to some music?” I reached over the hand brake and pushed the on button on the radio. Rihanna blasted on and I turned the volume back down. As I pulled my arm back, my elbow hit the hand brake and the car began to roll down the beast of a hill that Jenny’s house lay on.

                “Claire! What’s happening!? Help!” Jenny screamed, her face frozen in a mask of fear. My face mirrored hers and our screaming voices merged together, until they just became a siren. We clutched each other as the car rolled down the hill, terrified at what might happen. “Hit the brake! We need to stop the car! Hit the brake!” Jenny cried as she climbed up into the front seat. She looked down underneath the steering wheel. “Which one’s the brake!?”

                “I don’t know!” I yelled back and she began push randomly on the pedals. The car jerked and stopped. I slowly opened my eyes, unaware that I had even closed them, and looked around. The hill was no longer there; in fact, nothing I remembered was there. All I could see was a gigantic mall, which seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. The mall was wrapped in a thick layer of grey mist, which prevented me from seeing where I truly was. I shook Jenny awake, since she had fainted from all the excitement, and slowly got out of the car and began to walk quietly towards the strange mall. The air smelt of burning fuel and we had to plug our noses to block out the smell. We ran forward trying to get to the mall before the fumes grew unbearable.

                Inside the mall, the first thing we saw was a large marble fountain. People rushed back and forth busily. Jenny started towards a giant map of the mall that stood in the middle of the crowd. I run to catch up to her and we both looked at the map. According to it, the mall had four flours, a basement, two floors of only shopping stores and, surprisingly, a pool/sunbathing area. “C’mon.” Jenny walked over to the escalators.

                “Where are we going?” I asked her.

                “To the basement. There’s a information booth, or something, down there.” Jenny replied staring at the escalators. They were slimy with some sort of black goo. It was gross, but it was the only way down to the information booth. Jenny looked at me, shrugged and stepped onto the escalator. She slipped and fell down the stairs. A thump rung out from the darkness below.

                “Jenny.” I said quietly. “Jenny!” I looked around the mall. “Help! Someone please help me! My friend, I think she’s hurt!” I screamed, but no one even paused to look at me. They just walked along, too busy for some little kid like me. I gulped and grabbed hold of one of the slimy railings that went alongside the escalators. I carefully planted one foot down on the step and the stairs started to carry me down. I felt the black slime ooze over my fingers and into my sandals. I quickly put my other foot down and then…whoosh! I was swept off my feet (Unfortunately, it wasn’t thanks to a handsome stranger). I tumbled and landed with a splash in some murky brown water. I looked around as I tried desperately to stay afloat and saw a body lying lifelessly on a rickety, old rope-bridge. I began to swim towards it when a grey fin appeared above the surface of the water.

“Dolphin or shark?” I wondered. I reached down, under the water, and took of my shoe. I aimed and threw it at the fin. It bounced off the fin and the creature’s mouth opened to reveal several rows of sharp, razor like teeth. I treaded the water, frozen in place with fear. “Sh…sh…shark!” I yelled.

                I swam frantically for the rope bridge. My muscles began to ache with exhaustion, but I kept pushing myself forward, my goal haunting my mind. I looked back for a second and saw that the menacingly fin following me with speeds I knew I couldn’t match. I picked up my pace; still the shark perused me. The bridge loomed overhead; I reached for an obviously rotten rope that dangled from the mess of wood. I pulled myself up just as the shark closed in on me. He jumped into the air, his teeth missing me by inches. A sigh of relief, horror and amazement escaped my lips. Darkness began to creep into my vision and a shook myself to keep from passing out.

                A throbbing headache plagued me as I slowly sat up, rubbing my neck, when I remembered Jenny. “Where is she? Did the shark eat her? No! No! No!” My voice echoed in my head. I could already feel the tears welling up in my eyes when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the limp body of my best friend. I raced across the bridge, my leg falling through the rotten boards every now and then. When I had finally reached her, she was beginning to awake. “Jenny.” I shook her shoulder. “Are you alright? Jenny?”

                “My heads sore, but I’ll live.” Jenny said with a laugh. We stood up and walked across the bridge to a small circle of stores. “There it is.” Jenny said running towards the small info booth. I followed behind her, like always, as she knocked on the counter and an old man appeared from some where in the back of the booth.

                “Well, what have we here.” He said studying us. “Fell into old Jeb’s shark pond did ya?” I looked down at my sogging clothes.

                “Shark pond?” Jenny whispered. “What happened?”

                “I’ll tell you later.” I replied in a whisper as the old man droned on and on and on and on and on, etc (I think you get the point).

                “…one mean ol’ fish, yes siree. I’ve never crossed the bridge after that incident, no way! Anyhow, what do ya little things need?” The man finished.

                “We’ll we were wondering where we are.” Jenny told him.

                “Why in the basement, silly.” The man said, ruffling her hair.

                Jenny glared at him and smoothed her hair back down. “And where’s the basement?”

                “In the mall, of course.”

                “And where’s the mall?”

                “Hmm, now that there is a goooood question. I have no clue.” He said scratching his head.

                “Thanks anyway.” Jenny muttered. Just than the shark jumped up and clamped his jaws onto the rope bridge. He thrashed around, a rope caught between two of his killer teeth.

                “Oh, no.” I said, staring at the sight.

                “What?” Jenny asked.

                “A rope’s caught between his teeth.”

                “So?”

                “The only thing he can do is pull himself free and the rope will…” The bridge creaked and, at that very moment, the rope broke with a snap. Unfortunately for us, that rope was the rope holding the bridge together. When the rope snapped, pieces of rope and rotting wood flew through the air. The shark tumbled back into the water with a splash. The brown, murky water hit me right in the face and rolled down my cheeks.

                “Now how are we going to get across?” Jenny exclaimed. “That no good, dirty rotten…” She mumbled on and on about the shark.

                I turned to Jeb. “How do we get out of here?” I asked.

                “Why would you want to leave?” He asked. “This is the greatest place on Earth.” A dazed look appeared on his old, wrinkled face.

                “Run!” Jenny screamed. We bolted from the zombie-like Jeb. We both jumped into the shark-infested water and swam desperately for the other side. We made it about halfway when the fin rose up out of the water. “Claire, Claire what now?!” Jenny cried as she began to succumb to panic. She splashed and began to sink into the murky depths.

                “Jenny, not now!” I screamed. “Don’t die now!” I pulled on her arm and flung it over my shoulder. I swam, carrying her, toward the escalators. My hand gripped the cold, wet concrete as I pushed Jenny up onto it.

                Just then, that evil shark jumped up; it’s jaws clamped onto my leg. The shark pulled me down beneath the surface of the water. I could feel the awesome strength and power of the shark’s jaws as it dragged me further down. I could hear the crack of my bones as the broke, due to the shark’s jaws. The pressure on my lungs built up. Air escaped as I tried to scream. Blackness crept in around my vision; I took one last chance, frantically kicking and hitting the shark. Childhood memories played like a slideshow through my head, silent tears rolled down my cheeks and merged into the murky water. Goodbye, goodbye cruel world. Even in my last moments, I knew that was the cheesiest movie line on the planet.

                           *              *              *

                “Claire.” Someone called. “It’s ok, the firemen are getting the Jaws of Life now.”

                “Wha…what happened?” I asked the faceless voice. Blood dribbled down my forehead.

                “The car rolled down the hill and hit a tree.” Said the voice.

                “Jenny…?” I asked, afraid of the answer.

                “She’s ok. The ambulance took her over to Saint Grace Hospital.”

                “Ok, good.” I gasped for air.

                “It’s going to be alright now.” I closed my eyes in comfort and fell asleep hearing the sirens ringing out, out in the real world.

 

Reviews

[Charlie]

Can't really see any glaring errors a few minor spelling errors but that is easily fixed. Perhaps just more of the same. All these stories seem like there just beginning. Maybe weave the three together somehow. A good story is not just good syntax but the ideas behind it. And they are sound.