The one that got away

A story about a girl i fell in love with and whom i lost. Wrote whatever that i felt from the bottom of my heart.

We met on a cold night in January

Via the internet

Actually it was the afternoon for you

Since you were from

The other side of the globe

 

I remember that night

I remember there was something special about you

I remember staying up till 4am

I remember skipping school the next day

Because I was too tired

But I remember not regretting it

Because you were worth it

 

We started talking to each other everyday

And every night

1 hour became 2 hours

2 hours became 4 hours

The longest we ever talk was 10 hours in a day

 

Then on January 31^st

You were talking about this guy friend of yours

A guy friend whom your friends

Constantly paired you with

How your friends said

That you guys would make a perfect couple

I remembered getting jealous

Like I was really jealous of him

Then you asked me what was up

I knew this was the moment

I knew it was time

To tell you how I felt about you

 

I was scared

What if you didn’t feel the same?

What if you would stop talking to me?

Nevertheless

I told you how I felt

I opened up my heart

 

I anxiously waited for your response

I remember feeling that vibration

I remember feeling scared to open that text

I remember my heart beating fast

I remember hyperventilating

 

I opened up that text

And then I saw

Your response

I jumped and screamed in happiness

You said you felt the same too

But you wanted to take it slow and I was fine with it

Days had gone by

Talking to you everyday was

The only I wanted to do

I enjoyed every moment of it

I woke up every morning

Thinking about you

I went to bed every night

Thinking about you

 

You made me feel special

You made me feel things

I never felt before

You treated me so well

I felt so blessed

 

I remembered how we had

So much in common

It was like as if

We were meant to be

 

Then on 25^th March

At around 11:45 pm

You asked if I loved you

I remember being all sleepy

And then I became wide awake

 

I wanted to wait till we met

Like we promised we would

Before I told you that I loved you

But since you asked

I knew I had to tell you then

 

So I took about 15 minutes

To write you a long text

About how much I loved you

I didn’t want to just say “Yes”

Because you deserved

A heartfelt confession

I wanted to pour my heart out

 

So I sent you that text

I saw your response

I was so happy to know that

You loved me too

It was one the happiest day of my life

 

I was glad that you asked

You have no idea

How much I was dying

To tell you that I loved you

 

Everyday after that day was amazing

Being able to tell you that I love you daily

Felt so great

 

A million “I love you” still felt it was not enough

To truly tell you

How much I love you

Because that’s how much i love you

 

But sadly

It didn’t last long

Not long after

You woke up one day

You told me you lost feelings

 

I felt my whole world tumbling

Suddenly I was in a dark place

Everything seemed so wrong

I felt so lost in this world

I lost my will to live anymore

I didn’t know what to do

 

I begged you to stay

I reminded you of the good times

I fought for you to be with me

I did everything I could think of

This went on for a few days

Before you officially decided

That we’re done

 

I cried for hours

During that whole process

Before and after we split

I still cry whenever I think about you

I feel like I lost the only good thing in my life

 

I wished I never lost you

I just wanted to love you

I just wanted to treat you right 

And make you happy

 

I wanted you to be my first kiss

Now I will never taste your lips

I wanted to stare at those beautiful green eyes of yours

Now I will never see your eyes

I wanted to always be your curly-haired baby boy

Now you don't even want me in your life

I wanted to sing you songs from that boy band you used to love

Now I listen to your favourite song from them on loop and cry non stop

 

I don’t what went wrong

If I could go back in time

I wouldn’t erase you from my life

I’d make sure I never lost you

 

Maybe If I was better looking

You would have stayed

Maybe if I knew what was wrong

I could have made it right

 

Maybe we will be together again someday

Maybe we will never ever be together

Maybe we really are soulmates like you said

Maybe we just met at the wrong time in our live

Maybe someday I will get over you

Maybe I never will

 

All I know that is

I can’t hate you

No matter how you treat me

No matter how much I try

 

Because in the end of the day

I truly loved you

From the bottom of my heart

A part of me still loves you

And hopes that one day

You will come back

But I know that

I need to be ready

To accept the fact that

You may never come back

 

But until everything is certain

I just want to say

Goodbye my love

You will always have a special place in my heart

No matter what the future holds for us

Author's Note

I'm not much of a writer, i just wrote this to express my feelings. i apologies if my writing skill aren't great.