Cannot Escape the Darkness

You don't quite grasp the concept of what you have. Ever.

No one knows

Because she doesn't show

She looks at life as a wicked dream

Since nothing is really as it seems

She is staring at the sky hoping, wishing

Just as if there was something she was missing

She wonders why people don't like her

Wanting there to be some type of cure

Feeling the need to self medicate

Thinking her life would soon disintegrate 

She can no longer push away her demons 

Giving herself these negative reasons

Her mind is filling with flashbacks

She's trying to control these attacks

She's so stressed 

Always put to the test

Not knowing what to do with the rest

She is such a mess

But just one more thing to push her over the edge

To shove her off of that ledge 

She doesn't even think

Further in the kitchen chair she sinks

She grabs the bottle full of pills

Not knowing if she wants it to kill

Maybe she wants to be gone

From dusk until dawn

Out of this state of mind

No longer wants her stomach to bind

She's now out of it

Feeling like she's in the bottom of a pit

There are bright lights

She's drenched in fright

So hysterical

The reality of this situation is unbearable 

Her view was grim

And the lights go dim

This 'she'

Was me.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Easy to find the edge. Hard to see the light of hope. We must.
"She is such a mess
But just one more thing to push her over the edge
To shove her off of that ledge "
I liked the poem. Had the feel of real thoughts and struggle. Death is a ending. A bad one. I like the old wisdom dear Grandma taught me. "Make them suffer for 50 years. Don't make the naysayers content when you are gone." Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[ashleymarie]

I overdosed in July and decided to take another perspective.

[Coyote Poetry]

I'm glad you are here writing and expression yourself. Good to change perspective. Life is learning. If we are lucky. We get better.

[ashleymarie]

We get better when we try and we want it. You can only change for yourself for it to make a difference.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree. We must want change.

[ashleymarie]

I know from experience...Not just my life, but my mother's and brother's as well.

[Devanshu Rajput]

I must say you have portrayed pessimism of a girl's life incredibly. I by merely reading it, can feel the intensity of her hopelessness. I can feel the reason that why did the girl had to indulge in self-felony of suicide.

[ashleymarie]

That's because I was in her exact same position.

[Satan]

You will escape it, only when you are ready and able. Search for that fire inside, keep your head up and convince yourself that everything will be ok :)

[ashleymarie]

Just when you think things are getting better...They turn to s**t. We all search for hope and 'luck.' But really fate is just a dream.
Thank you for the review! I like to hear encouraging words.