What do I do?

Written in 2008/2009

I felt like coming to you, to speak instead of going to anyone else. I do not know the reason for my feelings nor do I wish to destroy them. I’ve come to realize that the more I stay alone in my bedroom, the more my heart aches. Why is it that every time he’s not online or he’s away I long for him. No one told me that love wasn’t going to last forever, and I did promise him at a time, I’d love him forever. But now that he’s not longer in love with me, I do not know where I should turn. Yes we like each other, but he longs for something that I do not know what is. I do not wish to give him up, but at the same time, I do not know what to do to make him fall for me once again. I’m stuck in a tunnel, and there is no way to get out. The pause button got stuck and will not let me out. Should I tell him I long for him by my side each night I lay my head on my pillow? Should I tell him that I treasure each word and each touch he gives to me? Should I change myself to make him love me?