Repeating Life

The past slips through the vents of the present

My only strength is fading out

The records of my past playing over in my mind

Stuck on repeat until they produce a new beat

All of which is connected in tune

With holding the same rhyme and the same genre

Of the pain I am witnessing

Making me unable to even tell smoothly

For it chops at my mind, tearing my heart away each time

Trying to make my soul and happiness fade away from me

As I feel the trickle of blood run down my leg just like before

It’s the song stuck on repeat, a string hooked that won’t get unstuck

Though when I look, there is nothing to be seen

Imagining the scars again, the knife to my skin

I feel like it’s happening all over again

As now stuck in my mind repeating, wishing to be bleeding

Able to picture my blood so perfectly

Seen so many times, always desiring more

Why I cannot say, the urge is still fully alive

Not only all the hate I have inflicted

All of the pain never goes away

It only escapes for a while

Feeling the warmth, there is no hurry.

The reminder of my pathetic life undeserving to live this life

The act of keeping my secrets from the people I love

Wondering why I am still breathing

With this life, only repeating.