Tired And betrayed

Tired and betrayed

Betrayed by an indifferent world

Betrayed by a misconception

A misconception posing as reality

A reality so lousy does not seem to exist

A pointless existence, an eternal pendulum swing

 

Someone has left the switch on

Someone had a little fun

Someone wanted to error and trial

Someone got tired of the world going round and round

 

Lonely hearts and lonely people

A drop of rain and a drop of tear

Searching and amazed circling round and round

Like a helpless moth, burning it self just to find

The world is crude and fire burns

No matter what your intension was

 

Tired and betrayed

Or happy and glad

The world circles round and round

No point to it, it just exists

You can be romantic about it

You can be a nihilist

 

It is like this poem

No point to it

Written out of boredom

Written out of pain

Written cause someone

wanted to play a game

Reviews

[Jaclyn]

Hrrmmm....well, in a way, the repetition on this poem kind of fits the feeling OF this poem, if that makes any sense. I liked phrases of this as well, like:

Searching and amazed circling round and round
Like a helpless moth, burning it self just to find
The world is crude and fire burns
No matter what your intension was (I know your intention was to spell intention correctly. Hee hee...)

I don't honestly know what to say about this poem. When I read it, I thought that it was kind of bitter and repetitive. However, something about it drew my attention a bit. I think there's something there, but I'm probably not being really helpful with my critique because I am on the fence with it. I think I'd like to check out more of your writing and see where else you can go.

[Solitude]

Wow! Particularly the last four lines!

[A.Kalashy]

I have no Idea what this guy is on about

[After the Blackbird Sin..]

I don't really like it. It's telling me how things are instead of showing me how things are. And telling me what to feel. Are you my director? I also think the poem has a very bitter vibe to it, without knowing who to be bitter at.