my mind speaks #4

My heart it ached.
My eyes bawling in vain.
But the clock, he never looked back.
Blue was my soul,glum ballad I sang,
But the clock, he never looked back.
Now, I ain't dwelling In 'ago'
Drifting through the sorrow, no hoe.
Walking with the clock, we never looked back.

Author's Note

'my mind speaks ' #4

Reviews

[Adam Adams]

You gripping the speed of rhyme very well.. with the flow of your series ... either you telling a story through poetry or a poetry in words, one thing's for sure, you certainly speaking the heart. This serie's now revealing many hidden concepts/thoughts of metaphor's very life that how she fallen in love but as time accumulated by, how her love seemed to be faded away but he (her lover) ain't look back not ev'n to the grave of her life ...

... time just walked off their feet and what seemed to be left behind is.. nothing but emptiness. Very thoughtful and deep series you be workin' on. Keep writing!

[Ayushi Jha]

Thank you. You are quite near. These lines are propagating to the readers,the concept of time. How things seem worse than ever at some point of time but we never stop ( clock i.e time never looks back). After few shattering experiences, there comes a time when we go strong and do not dwell in the past anymore and live in our present, a present. ( walking with the clock,we never looked back)

[Ayushi Jha]

We never stop-* time never stops
A silly mistake :P

[Adam Adams]

Lol ... but that "silly mistake" brings pleasure of peace - drooled with ecstasy - ... No? It's the other thing that.. it has scars hidden deep inside, which come shown with the "clock.. the tick tick.. tock .. of time" ;)

[Ayushi Jha]

Yes, it does bring a feeling of ecstasy, counterfeit ecstasy? It veils the truth of life. Isn't it? So.... that silly mistake is not to be oblivious to.

[Adam Adams]

Um.. counterfeit? Well, not exactly, but yup, probably .. kinda yes. Love's such a pleasure - a thing of "sin" that brings "ecstasy" to life. The ecstasy, which's just a figment, might be, one glimpse of "fake-happiness" that almost seemed to be full of virtue lost in paradise. Right? However, it's true colors -- shades come forward to be shown when... heart gets done with night & the night seems to be faded away ev'n lost somewhere in the midst of darkling-time. Right?

[Ayushi Jha]

But at many instances, I do get a feeling of this ecstasy to fake itself or MAYBE, as my breeders say, I am at a tender age,16!

[Adam Adams]

Everyone's been passed through such "tender" age, sweetheart. So... It all just depends how & what kinda live you're in need to be lived. The age you are in is just a first step - a footprint - you just started walking up... there's much to come ... when you'll turned to 17 & would be half in between 19 ... you'll get shuddered .. with same thoughts or, as you say, "Instances" ... but I guess, the way you write and understand conversations with cunning.. makes me saying, you're already well bewitched with love-shades... & am sure, you won't get that much shuddered when you are 18 ... kinda philosophical but nearby as .. true.

Ps. Everyone's swung with such ecstasies but only few has found "true"/real pleasure of "happiness" (not just the pleasure of ecstasy).

I kinda like conversing with ya, you sound like one bitter though sweet, sweet but sour forbidden-unforbidden fruit that may bring kaleidoscopic taste to life. Interesting. Lol

(What the hell I ""JUST"" wrote now??" xoxo)

[InhObv.]

This is great! I love the repetition and feeling of progression through the poem using the same and similar words. Flows really well :)

[Ayushi Jha]

Thank you :)