Write me a story

Write me a story

Your words in fine print

Crisp paper, smooth edges

With a happy end

Erase the problems

Write a solution

A new plot, new story

No more confusion

Revise and revise

Make it your masterpiece

Whatever you do

No new characters please

Make it a love story

With a boy and a girl

That love each other

Live in a perfect world

There you go! 

You almost have it!

A perfect ending, relationship

No sadness!

You mess up the line

Furious with the mistake

Crumble the paper, the love

Filled with hate

You crumble my heart

Missing the trash

The love I had given

Destroyed by your hand

Now it's I 

Who am looking at a blank piece of paper

For the one that was mine

Is looking at a new fallen saviour

Author's Note

its a rough draft

Reviews

[Stephen]

Very good! I love the way that you use imagry to get across a message such as this. Writing a story on a blank piece of paper. Making a love story of a boy and girl and then the part with it be crumpled up and missing the trash and being destroyed by his hand. Its is just unique the way that you wrote this. I like uniqueness and this was awesome.

[Olumegbon]

Wow, really nice. Enjoyed it. Keep writing

[Jamie]

As a rough draft this is excellent! The style really flows! Great job!

[coffeedigest]

I really enjoyed this. The 7th stanza was my favorite, I loved the imagery of missing the trash, seemed like the love was just tossed away with such disregard. My only critique would be it seemed like there was some somewhat forced rhyming in stanzas 2 and 3 followed by minimal rhyming throughout the rest of the poem. I enjoy just picking one or the other, neither is good or bad just different. When they mix together in this way it is almost distracting, (At least for me) where I was left wondering when a rhyme was coming as apposed to focused on what the poem had to say. Overall I enjoyed the poem, and felt like you had a lot of great imagery! Great job, keep writing.