I LOVE you

Letter to a lover...

 I LOVE you. And yes, all in capital letters. I don't know how else to say it, or how else to explain. I know I can be frustrating. And irritating sometimes. And I know that I, most of the time, ok, all the time, start it. But it's all because of you. It doesn't make sense, but whoever said love does? I'm terrified, of losing you, of losing what we have. Because I know I'll never find it again. And the careful girl in me doesn't want to get too close while the romantic, fall head-over-heels even if you're going to get smashed, girl wants to stop thinking and just give in to it all. She laughs at the other girl and says you're already lost. I know I have everything to lose when it comes to you, and it's scary, but intriguing and exciting at the same time. I've been questioning things, things that make me more confused and scared than ever. So I push them away and pretend they're not there. I know that if I ever lost you, I'd be losing a chunk of myself too. And when I don't get to see you, even for a day, I start to miss you. I LOVE you. I LOVE the way you look at me, that look that makes my heart skip a beat. I LOVE the way you wrap your arms around me, that you have to lean down to kiss me, or when you pick me up and kiss me until I can't breathe. I LOVE listening to you talk, hearing you say you love me, seeing your smile. I LOVE that you're patient, even when I know you don't want to be. I LOVE our lazy afternoons together, with the dogs, and that you don't complain too much about my getting my camera out. I LOVE walking hand in hand, knowing that you're mine and no one else's, when I see those envious gazes. I LOVE it when you touch me, when the lights are out and all I can see and feel is you. Each subtle caress, the brush of your fingers, makes me want more of you. I LOVE feeling your lips on mine, on me. I LOVE that sometimes we say we'll take it slow and yet somehow every time it turns to passionate, hard and fast. I LOVE seeing your naked body lying across the sheets after such an episode, candlelight flickering shadows against the walls. I LOVE feeling your body wrapped around mine. Your legs twined with my own, your arms hugging me tightly. I LOVE you. ALL of you. <3