Introduction

Chapter 1: Intro

The metal was cool to the touch. Sharp, but cool. Almost warm, welcoming. It almost smiled as it pressed against his skin. He laughed, the pressure was off him. His parents, school, friends. Blood trickled down his arm, there were no expectations to live up to. His escape. His happy home. If only reality were this sweet.

 

Another line. That adds to 43. An odd number. The way he enjoyed things. Imperfect. No body was perfect. He wished his parents knew that.

 

If only his parents understood, if they didn't expect so much from him. He'd be out right now, enjoying his time. Not loathing and making scars. There was no pain anymore. Just scar after scar, the metallic shining, making the blood more visible. He didn't feel it drip, he didn't care that it dripped. He was numb, just like every night.

* * *

High school was a drag. Parents were a drag. Another drag and her thoughts melted away. Her escape. She couldn't understand why people were envious. Sitting in a smoke circle, a blunt in one hand and liquor in the other.

 

This wasn't the life to dream of, but yet it was her own. She didn't enjoy it, per say, just lived. Escaped.

 

A sip and a drag. She wasn't sure which burned more, the liquor or the weed. A shrug and another sip. By now the burn in her throat was comforting. The warmth spread all through her fingertips. She felt complete in that environment. Her vision caught a clock, the bright red letters almost screamed. 2:05. Was it the afternoon or the night? The room was dark. It had to be late.

 

Another sip and a drag. She just didn't care.

* * *

It was Monday. First day back from the winter break. He grimaced. The only thing good about school is that it keeps him busy for seven hours. He didn't do after school activities, he didn't have plans with his so called friends.

 

It just helped the day pass.

 

He was glad he wasn't smart. If he was, he'd be in the private school system like his younger sister. Another grimace. Those uniforms were so tacky. He appreciates his baggy, black jeans and band shirts and belts. He'd choose that over being smart any day.

 

Standing outside the high school, he wondered if today was different. It didn't feel different than any other new semester at school, but somehow it did. Looking down, he made his way to his usual spot. He heard usual holiday stories and the more common gossip.

 

“Watch it loser!” A bump into one of those girls. He envied their boyfriends and at the same time, was glad he wasn't them.

 

His eyes looked up in search of his only friend, Lukas. He either changed places, again, or skipped school. The stairs where they stood for the past two semesters were occupied, but not by Luke. There was a girl standing up against the wall. She seemed to be smoking a cigarette. The looks she had, he thought, she definitely didn't belong here.

* * *

Her mom's junky car roared as she approached the school. She winced at the screeching. Too much for a hangover. She never understood why schools were so welcoming. Every time she screwed up at the last one, the next was opening their doors to her. Why can't they just kick her out? She never understood.

 

She sighed as she got out of the car. There was no isolation from these stupid kids. There was one spot, however, that looked welcoming for a morning joint. She made her way over to the wall next to a set of stairs. The old brick building looked almost a hundred years old. She reached in her pocket for her case and lighter, briefly looking at the crowd as her lips shut around the joint. She rolled her eyes at the stares from, well, everyone.

 

She couldn't believe her mother made her come here. Her own mother. She was in disbelief that her own flesh and blood would care more about her new boyfriend than a daughter. A chuckle to herself. Her mother is the reason she's been transferred to a different school every other month. The joint she puffed on was stolen from her mother's stash, a medicinal stash. Oh, love thy mother for thy Mary Jane needs.

 

One last look over the sorry bunch of students. She caught the eye of one real sorry looking soul. He was headed towards her. Oh, great, she thought, a brave soul.

* * *

Her hair was pulled back in a sleek but at the same time messy pony tail. He noticed tired eyes. Blue, but very tired. Her skin and eyes were accentuated by the auburn bangs that fell to either side of her face. Why was she standing in his spot? The other kids at the school stayed away from him. Except Lukas. She didn't know, he concluded. She probably is new and doesn't know that I'm worthless.

 

“Uh,” he couldn't get the words out.

 

She looked at his scrawny stature. He was a couple inches taller, not by much more though. Short, messy, black hair fell down to his eyes.

 

“You wanna hit?” she asked, breathing out smoke and flipping her hand so the roach was towards him.

 

She was genuine. And, basically, a cool girl. Not that he wasn't cool, but he didn't stand out.

 

“No, uh, this is just usually where I stand.”

 

They looked each other over. Both obviously knew they were worlds apart. They couldn't tell how, but they just were.

 

In his school, cool was the definition of her. Just her looks. She partied, would go out with the jocks and screw every one, and smoked on school grounds without caring. He wasn't the geekiest, but he wasn't the jocks that everyone adored either. He had a rep. A small one, but apparent. He was cute enough for the girls to adore but not to be open about crushing on.

 

In her last school, he would've been the cooler of the two. He'd fit with the skaters, everyone wanted them, a rocker who would wear all black and be proud. Known for screwing all the girls. She was the lowest of the low. No one approached her. The chemicals from hair dye radiated off her like repellant.

 

All in all, they were two worlds apart, but closer than they ever could have imagined.