Mensomnia

There wasn't a time when sleep was not shallow
a dream flimsy and wavering but my
ID scatters, ramped, and thriving
colors not separating a heart
on which I've been meditating
but this rest is so staggering in jolts
and the impossible fades out
in a glaze gathered by dusty daylight
I couldn't be more tired and feel
memories made in mind produced as real
I'm not getting my made-up moments
out of my mind repeating, prolonged feelings
not giving up bittersweet falsities
my fake future and fortune and friends
mistaken amends and never-ever-ends
what is so hard about being what I said
fit this Unbelievable in my version instead