I thought...

11/25/13

I thought...

 

 

I thought God was an old man

with a long white beard

stranded in the vast unknown

of what mortals believe to be heaven,

always watching, always judging,

weighing offenses against the scale of righteousness.

 

I thought poems had to rhyme

and songs were meant to be sung dramatically

so I silenced the unwritten melodies in me

in the chasm of insignificance

and I conformed my voice

to the dissonant noise of the crowd.

 

I thought wisdom was contained

in the pages of books

with the imprint of revered geniuses

so I spent most of my waking hours

in the private world of words

leaving behind uninteresting realities.

 

I thought happiness could be achieved

by pleasing universal eyes

so I shaped myself

to the stereotypes of society,

nameless, voiceless,

and was manipulated like a puppet.

 

I thought love was a fairytale

(and there's nothing more cliche than that)

so I allowed my fantasies to reign

and kissed more than a dozen frogs

in the vain pursuit

of a Disneylike romance.

 

I thought I was a nobody,

never amounting to anything much,

so I repressed my golden dreams

and I lived not to my potentials,

not knowing that in the process,

I lost opportunities and I lost myself.

 

I thought just because things made sense

they were absolute truths

governing the existence of humanity

so I lived my life in ignorance,

breathing lies and feasting upon misconceptions...

just like everybody else.

Author's Note

I'm sick of all the lies.

Reviews

[NeiL ArandA]

Thanks Blue for the second read request. You have finally achieved your dream of writing a free verse. You have far exceeded my expectations here. Everything flows and not just that. The meaning and the thoughts conveyed was profoundly deep. I can tell that you've put a lot of deep thought on this piece.

1st stanza " I thought God was an old man " ... Perhaps just like what Greek mythology portrayed in a person of Zeus. A god sitting in a stone throne. Eating grapes and drinking nectar. Distant and disengage from the cares and affairs of mankind. And when humans mess up, he sends lightning bolts and natural calamities until his anger is quenched. Release the Kraken!
Well this is exactly the opposite of what the God of the Bible did. He came into this world and pitched His tent among us. He left His glorious realm in heaven and identified Himself among us.
2nd stanza " I thought poems had to rhyme " ... Well don't we all think so ? then along came Haiku, Senryu, Tanka and Free Verse ...
3nd stanza " I thought wisdom was contained in the pages of books" ... Its amazing that you have already asked and thought about this word. How I wish I could get a book to acquire wisdom. Solomon was the wisest person that lived the face of the earth. His wisdom was second only to Jesus Christ. Yet Solomon did not go to prestigious school or university to acquire it. It was handed to him by God in a silver plate.
Who told him that was the best request to ask from God ? His father King David must have told him so.
4th stanza " I thought happiness could be achieved" ...There's a wise saying that no matter how hard you try. You just can't please everybody.
5th stanza " I thought love was a fairytale " ... Yes that is why Hollywood makes plenty of money . Titanic made a record box office hit. They turned a national tragedy into romantic story and it was a hit ! And don't we all love happy ending ? But love is not pure fantasy. Its work, marriage or any relationship is work. Love is sacrificial. Love at its highest level always look at the greatest interest or greater good of others . The best thing in life whether its a job, relationship, someone or something is not easily obtained without effort. Love is such an overused words. It takes effort and if its not, then its cheap love.
6th stanza " I thought I was a nobody " ... I would answer this stanza with a question. Who am I ? Why I am here ? What's my purpose ? ... If God created us to be a nobody then we might just as well be a grass or a plankton.
7th stanza " I thought just because things made sense they were absolute truths " ... Ah very clever of you. You have pondered the idea of absolute truth. You ever wondered why there's so many different religious denominations ? Somehow society has embrace the idea of relativism and discarded the fact that their is absolute truth. Why its so ? If we do believe and accept that there is such. Then we're afraid that we will have to answer and be accountable to Someone higher than us .

[Blue]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You really know what you are doing! Your reviews are pleasurable and insightful to read!

[NeiL ArandA]

So you finally got the chance and the time to read this because of your busy school schedule. Hope I have inspired you. You also write religious poems . Please keep going !

[Reeti]

Your philosophical inference is very remarkable. It defines how I myself feel regarding society's fixed conceptions or the idealistic yearning I had to live an exalting life. There are fallacies so ingrained into social ideas that many people at some point, are bound to feel disoriented.

I love the second paragraph of your verse the most because its content reveals the 'genuine voice' that is lost and irretrievable. It is ironic that you 'thought' that verses should rhyme but it doesn't any longer, and in the same instance, you accept that fact despite your rebuffs.

We can manifest a few of our dreams whereas the ranking of power from the superiors restrain us. As my words of encouragement, however, where we can, we have the ability to manifest many if not all to the most potential degree. As a reader of your work, i am deducing that you are not a pure conformist and definitely not a retrograde. It's better off that way. There are so many political infliction in our daily lives that we, for our well-being, have to be ignorant to it as much as possible. May hope be neither overstated or understated to sustain our peace of mind.

[Blue]

Thank you so much!

[CoraZanini]

honestly,blue I a crazy about this!!Such amazing job!With every piece you write you grow even more!

and about this one I love the pure,brief honesty withoout trying to make it sound beautiful, i love the way you roughly showed reality

[Blue]

Thank you so much!

[Jack...]

We can only be who we are. Indeed we are formed and shaped by the things that happen around us, and it is our decision as to who we believe in all of this...though the truth always rests inside of you if you look hard enough, you will find it hidden amongst the lies. Very well done Blue. I really liked everything about this piece.

[Blue]

Thank you so much!

[Mittens]

Life is all about discovery, Blue. Sometimes the lessons you learn through experience counteract what you've always thought to be the truth. It's how you choose to react to those lessons that really winds up shaping the person you become. Don't let it get you down and hopefully you'll find that trailblazing new paths for yourself will actually be more satisfying than someone handing you all the answers.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks for the insights, Matt. :)

[FlatLineBeauty]

It is amazing how we often think or picture things a certain way. Then later we only find out that our perceptions were completely off. You are a somebody with a beautiful mind and stunning talent. Amazing write, Blue. I always enjoy reading everything you send me. xo Winter

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my works, Winter. :)

[Latifa]

this poem seems to me the representation of a trasitional process in your life blue
I thought poems had to rhyme
and songs were meant to be sung dramatically
so I silenced the unwritten melodies in me
in the chasm of insignificance
and I conformed my voice
to the dissonant noise of the crowd.
this is my fav

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, Latifa. :)

[Carl Drake Barnard]

I hate lying just as much,and for what it's worth love the read!! :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you so much, Carl. :)

[annabellee]

Really good, I can totally relate to it.
wonderful write :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, Annabellee. :)

[annabellee]

you're most welcome :)

[David Burke]

This is wonderful :) very well written and I can really relate to this on a very high scale wonderful job kido

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, Ryan. :)

[David Burke]

You're welcome lol