Fast Forward

10/27/13

Fast forward to the days

when I pack up my suitcase.

I bring my dreams with me

as I take flight to his place.

Fast forward to the days

when he waits me with a grin.

I give him my timid smile,

with a kiss, he pulls me in.

Fast forward to the days

when we walk by the sea.

We voice out our hearts,

sweet lines of poetry.

Fast forward to the days

when he loves me and my scars.

I whisper, "I love you, too."

as we sleep beneath the stars.

Fast forward to the days

when he kneels with a ring.

And all throughout our marriage,

I hear the heaven sing.

Oh, love often contradicts

time's most usual pace

'Cause my thoughts always wander

fast forward to the days...

Author's Note

Some noticed that most of my poems depict sadness. So here's a ray of sunshine for you. :)

Reviews

[Douglas White]

Creative writing of all kinds exposes more about the writer than most of us would really care to admit. In your case with sad poems, the hurt and pain are clear. The circumstances that put you there are uniquely your own, and private, but the feelings that are left behind in your words are the things that people connect with. The emotions coming through are what separate "good" from "excellent". The best poems aren't necessarily about rhythm patterns, stanzas, word count, or anything else. The best poems are the ones you -feel-. That is what the great writers present and past are talking about when they are talking about "truthful writing".

This poem, for example, is a positive write - on the surface. But underneath, I can feel a sad wistfulness behind the words, a feeling that the sunshine is a little forced. A good poem about wishful thinking, but I don't think that you were entirely honest with yourself when you wrote it. Take a good long look at it, and I think you'll see what I mean.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the poem, along with pretty much everything else you've sent my way so far. But I honestly think that if you're sad, you should write sad, until you aren't sad anymore. Don't try to write sunshine when it really isn't in you, even if you think you're writing too many sad poems.

Try writing angry poems, though, if you want a change of pace. Those can be a bit fun. (And they often make great lyrics for death metal songs! Just saying...) :^D

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Doug, Doug, Doug... How come you are so good at things like this? You seem to know me more than I know myself!! Hahaha. Lots of insights that you've taught me today. :)

[Rose of many colours]

Great foresight this poem depicts.The rhythm is high and gentle..
"Fast forward to the days,
When he loves me with my scars..this speaks volume in this piece
great write ..God bless you Blue

[KAin]

Not bad at all!
I assume the 'sad' poems are your comfort zone? Admittedly, it's a good thing to get out of it once in a while. I think this is an impressive outing. Well done on a beautiful poem!

[Derek Smith]

well this was a change of pace from the other ones, and I must say I did indeed enjoy it good write

[Rita L. Sev]

Lovely and romantic, Blue - but remember to savor each day as they unfold!

[MsJewel]

And what a beautiful ray of sunshine this morning. I love the uplifting feel of your poem Blue. I smiled the whole time I read it. Absolutely stunning!
:) Julie

[Rocans]

I liked the last stanza, quite well penned, the cadence emphasizes your longing for amorous days. Good refreshing read...my soul needs more of this

[Sami Khalil]

I just feel wonderful every time I read your splendid poems...Bravo

[Angel]

Ahhh, Darling...what a lovely fantasy.
But there is no rush, Luv. One day, you'll be singing "Rewind to the days when...."

[Latifa]

We voice out our hearts,
sweet lines of poetry.
i like the repitition

[Coyote Poetry]

Nice use of repetition. Would be nice to go fast forward to a better day. I would like to rewind. Re-do foolish actions and be quiet instead of speaking foolish words. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote