Fast Forward

10/27/13

Fast forward to the days

when I pack up my suitcase.

I bring my dreams with me

as I take flight to his place.

Fast forward to the days

when he waits me with a grin.

I give him my timid smile,

with a kiss, he pulls me in.

Fast forward to the days

when we walk by the sea.

We voice out our hearts,

sweet lines of poetry.

Fast forward to the days

when he loves me and my scars.

I whisper, "I love you, too."

as we sleep beneath the stars.

Fast forward to the days

when he kneels with a ring.

And all throughout our marriage,

I hear the heaven sing.

Oh, love often contradicts

time's most usual pace

'Cause my thoughts always wander

fast forward to the days...

Author's Note

Some noticed that most of my poems depict sadness. So here's a ray of sunshine for you. :)

Reviews

[Douglas White]

Creative writing of all kinds exposes more about the writer than most of us would really care to admit. In your case with sad poems, the hurt and pain are clear. The circumstances that put you there are uniquely your own, and private, but the feelings that are left behind in your words are the things that people connect with. The emotions coming through are what separate "good" from "excellent". The best poems aren't necessarily about rhythm patterns, stanzas, word count, or anything else. The best poems are the ones you -feel-. That is what the great writers present and past are talking about when they are talking about "truthful writing".

This poem, for example, is a positive write - on the surface. But underneath, I can feel a sad wistfulness behind the words, a feeling that the sunshine is a little forced. A good poem about wishful thinking, but I don't think that you were entirely honest with yourself when you wrote it. Take a good long look at it, and I think you'll see what I mean.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the poem, along with pretty much everything else you've sent my way so far. But I honestly think that if you're sad, you should write sad, until you aren't sad anymore. Don't try to write sunshine when it really isn't in you, even if you think you're writing too many sad poems.

Try writing angry poems, though, if you want a change of pace. Those can be a bit fun. (And they often make great lyrics for death metal songs! Just saying...) :^D

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Doug, Doug, Doug... How come you are so good at things like this? You seem to know me more than I know myself!! Hahaha. Lots of insights that you've taught me today. :)

[TL Boehm]

This is beautiful - hopeful and reads like a song.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, TL. :)

[Dye]

Sunshine it is! Very wishful look forward Blue, brings a smile to my face. :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks, Dye! I haven't read any of your poems lately... You should be sending out RRs, you know. :)

[Dye]

You are welcome Blue. I can't keep up with reading RR's so I don't send them. It's okay with me if I don't get too many visits. :)

[Bowers]

I enjoyed this poem a lot! you did a great job portraying a romantic relationship, a nice transition from the sad poem, although I do like sad poetry :) anyway, nice write!

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

I'm a huge fan of sad poetry, too! Thank you so much for this review, Becky. :)

[Bowers]

your so welcome! :D

[Leslie Philibert]

Enjoy the clarity of your voice !

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks for the advice, Leslie. :)

[Richie]

Wow...that is very good. I love the imagery of time travel - fast forward to the days - It is a lifetime in a poem, I love it :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

I stopped in the marriage part, though... I haven't got a clue what to expect after that. Haha. Thank you, Richie. :)

[Aziz Luther]

Nice poem. I love your stuff regardless. But it was nice seeing a happy side to your poetry.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

I am more than honored, thank you, Aziz. :)

[Tam Warink]

My, oh my... this is deliriously bright and hopeful. I am like a vampire in a dark room wrapped in slumber when in waddles the house matron and throws open the curtains. "The light! The light," I shout with all my might. But then I notice that my vision is untrue, the light was but poetry from our darling, Blue. Whew! (saved by imagination - again)

[Diana]

I like this sort of wistful and wishful fast forward.

[burnhouse]

Made me smile. :) Nice poem.