Ang Akon Utod/My Brother

How much he had changed...

Akon natyempuhan ang akon utod,

malinong nga gakatulog.

Tandaan ko pa ang tyempo sang una.

Ligad tatlo katuig, di gani lima...

Dungan kami gatulog kung hapon.

Kung galigo, ga-agaway pa sang  habon.

Daw pulbos gid ang amon hamot.

Patas pa kami nga inosente kag mabuot.

Indi gid kami mabulag kaangay sang duha ka tuko.

Baw! Daw ano ko gid kapalangga si toto!

Ginhimutadan ko pa ang iya hitsura...

Ang akon utod, indi ko na kilala.

---------English Translation---------

I chanced upon my brother,

sleeping peacefully.

I can still remember the old times.

Three years ago or maybe five.

We took afternoon naps together,

       fought over a soap during baths,

       smelled so much like powder.

We were both innocent and good.

Like two geckos, we were inseparable.

Oh! How I love my brother!

I scrutinized his face...

I don't know him anymore.

Author's Note

We had a poem-writing activity in our class and we had to write using our dialect (Hiligaynon). We did this for ten minutes. I have never been comfortable in my own dialect since I'm very much in love with English but I was surprised when I was having fun with Hiligaynon. :) However, I believe the beauty of the original version is incomparable to the English one. More often than not, a poem's power is lost when translated.)

I sent RRs for this because I'm proud of my dialect. :)

P.S. "Toto" is an endearment for a brother.

Reviews

[WithLoveandLoss.]

It is incomprehensible to me the similarities of our relationships with our brothers. I can connect with every line, every word. Thank you for penning and as I have learned, it takes time for a relationship so dear to mend after withstanding pain; but it will mend.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Lovely insight... Thank you so much for your kind words. :)

[Dr. Wood ?]

Very very good.....Simple and perfect....I still remember the powder smell of bath nights...and after all these years have passed.....We all alter with time

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Yes, I agree. Thanks, Doc! :)

[Rose of many colours]

Good rhyming in hiligaynon, even though it isn't so in English.. But this realy stands out inspite of..
The ending caught me off guard...

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you so much, Rose.:)

[Rose of many colours]

You are welcome..

[Will Neill]

Blue, I tried very hard to read out your poem in your dialect, you should be proud of your roots-why don't you try posting an audio version so we can all hear it in your native voice.
Nice work.
Will

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Hey, thanks for that suggestion! I might do an audio on this one. I'll keep you posted, Will. Thanks a lot! :)

[OTownPete]

Wow, what a surprising ending Blue...you have my empathy in spades. Your friend in words, Pete

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks a lot for the empathy, Pete.. I'd appreciate chocolates, too. Haha. :)

[ANTO]

Pride in one's dialect is very admirable Blue. I wouldn't agree entirely that the translation has no power though. It has its own energy and conveys the meaning in this instance very well. I think we have the romance of our mother tongue in our heads when we speak it though.
Its a very endearing poem - thanks for sharing
X

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Ohh, thank you for your beautiful review, Anto. I'll do an audio version of this soon enough. :)

[ANTO]

Would like to hear that very muchly.
X

[Frieda P]

I love geckos! This is so tender and warm Blue, it gave me goosebumps...sweet, so sweet!

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Wow, of all physical reactions, goosebumps? That's a lovely surprise, Frieda. :) Anyway, I don't like geckos. They're really scary and annoying whenever they visit my room...

[Frieda P]

Ha it was the sentiment not the geckos that did it silly ;-) Anyway I'm used to those creatures, my boys had Iguanas and Monitor Lizards, it doesn't get scarier than that. :-)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Ohhh haha :) yes, yes. Those little monsters are worse than geckos. :)

[Frieda P]

Much, the monitor got loose one day and we had no clue where the dang thing was, those things can kill you!

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

My goodness! haha. So you never found it?

[Frieda P]

Yes they did, weeks later behind the dryer, have no clue how it lived down there for that long, but I'm the one that did laundy.....!

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Hahaha I should have seen your reaction! That part might be funny to watch! :)

[Tom]

Like two geckos inseparable! Now that's great poetry in any language !

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

It's a common idiom in our dialect. Thank you, Tom! :)

[Tam Warink]

I'm glad I read the other review comments otherwise I wouldn't have gotten the true sense of your last line in the English translation. I had originally thought it might be something more distant but, happily, that was not the case - just a matter of him growing so fast that you didn't recognize him anymore (as that young child). Very nice, Blue. Thank you for sharing the beauty of your native language/dialect and the commentary on lost-in-translation that is almost always inevitable (and let us not forget cultural nuances).

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

It's not all about the "growing up so fast" thing, though. You are right when you said that it is "something more distant". That's exactly the word that I mean here. Distance. Estrangement. It's heartbreaking, really.

Thank you for this, Tam. Your reviews are appreciated, as always. :)

[Tam Warink]

Oh, so I did get it right the first time; well that makes me both happy and sad. Unfortunately these things do happen and when they do it's often something that we ponder for the rest of our lives. Thanks for the clarification. {sigh}