Ang Akon Utod/My Brother

How much he had changed...

Akon natyempuhan ang akon utod,

malinong nga gakatulog.

Tandaan ko pa ang tyempo sang una.

Ligad tatlo katuig, di gani lima...

Dungan kami gatulog kung hapon.

Kung galigo, ga-agaway pa sang  habon.

Daw pulbos gid ang amon hamot.

Patas pa kami nga inosente kag mabuot.

Indi gid kami mabulag kaangay sang duha ka tuko.

Baw! Daw ano ko gid kapalangga si toto!

Ginhimutadan ko pa ang iya hitsura...

Ang akon utod, indi ko na kilala.

---------English Translation---------

I chanced upon my brother,

sleeping peacefully.

I can still remember the old times.

Three years ago or maybe five.

We took afternoon naps together,

       fought over a soap during baths,

       smelled so much like powder.

We were both innocent and good.

Like two geckos, we were inseparable.

Oh! How I love my brother!

I scrutinized his face...

I don't know him anymore.

Author's Note

We had a poem-writing activity in our class and we had to write using our dialect (Hiligaynon). We did this for ten minutes. I have never been comfortable in my own dialect since I'm very much in love with English but I was surprised when I was having fun with Hiligaynon. :) However, I believe the beauty of the original version is incomparable to the English one. More often than not, a poem's power is lost when translated.)

I sent RRs for this because I'm proud of my dialect. :)

P.S. "Toto" is an endearment for a brother.

Reviews

[L.Edward]

Oh wow this is great. The sadness of the last line really gets you. I think most people can relate to this. Someone sweet from their childhood that went sour. I thought the English version was great. Not knowing the dialect version I can understand it as a great piece in its own right. But I understand what you mean about lost in translation. Culture and language meaning are inseperable in some regards. BTW what language was this a dialect of?

[Subversive Reality]

I (tried my best to) read this first in the original version, and although I can't say I know exactly how it should be spoken I really enjoyed playing with the syllables without any understanding of what they meant, it was more like music than poetry!

And on reading the English version it was really nice seeing how the sounds matched to meaning. Especially the last two lines, by juxtaposing them with the first stanza you infer a story that could span a whole series of full novels. Thanks for sharing.

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
As well as you knew your brother then, why do you not know him now ?

[Pryde Foltz]

A beautiful and personal write. Here's to both learning and finding each other again.

[Baby Ricochet]

Lovely tribute to your kin. Thanks for sharing

[Mark]

You write so well in english. I thought it was your first language. Love this poem, no relationship is lime a sibling. Well done.

[Aziz Luther]

Ahsante, simply thank you for the lovely poem.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, too! :)

[BreannaAutumn]

I really love this poem as i can relate to it well. my brother has moved out and ever since i feel as if he was never there. Oh how we all wish for the little days when all we had was eachother

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Aww, that's so sad... My brother and I had become strangers in our own house. Thank you for your review. :)

[Simon Welsh]

Awhhh so cute.
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[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Haha, Elliot.

[Ency Bearis]

Notable poem and translated well. I do understand some of the dialect too but a litlle bit off from my dialect of Bicol. But it's cool though how you presented the poem. Good write.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you so much, Ency. One of the reviewers here would like to hear the dialect so I might do an audio on this one. :)

[Ency Bearis]

My pleasure and you're welcome