You

You

A Poem by Azure Montessa (Blue)
"

You are my monster, my enemy.

"

You are a monster,

tailored perfectly for me.

You exist solely for my destruction.

You torment me with your lies

and distorted philosophies.

You feed me with your thoughts.

You poison me with your curses,

polluting my mind with your shade of evil.

 

You are my ultimate definition of hell

and you hold me captive in your abyss.

You refuse to free me from your grasp

for I am your favorite prisoner.

You delight in my vulnerability,

my faint resolutions,

my vain attempts to escape.

 

You applaud my falls,

taking every error

as a chance to condemn me.

You laugh at my virtues

and you question my beliefs.

You take pleasure in my cries of agony;

my screams are music to your ears.

 

You wipe away every memory of bliss,

draining me of life,

emptying me of myself.

You strip me off of my heart

in your desire to make me be like you.

You are my monster, my enemy.

I am you and you are me.

© 2013 Azure Montessa (Blue)


Author's Note

Azure Montessa (Blue)
Thank you for reading! :)

My Review

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Reviews

This I find interesting because it is so very similar to something I wrote (Demon in the Mirror). Two very different works, but essentially dealing with the same idea: you are your own worst enemy. I've had to face that frequently throughout my life, and I can say that you've captured the core of it quite well. Excellent poem, Blue.

A suggestion, if you're willing to tackle it: take this poem and do an alternate humorous version of it; imagine the day after a long night drinking and eating too much mexican food, or something along those lines. The framework is there to be something really hilarious, if you want to take a shot at it. (Anything really serious can be twisted to humor, and sometimes it's worth a try.)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Azure Montessa (Blue)

11 Years Ago

I haven't written something humorous for quite a long time, Douglas. I'll try your suggestion. :) Th.. read more
this is beautiful as per! i love how deep and raw this piece gets, it really gets down to the nitty gritty of it all and i love the hidden truth behind it all and its also very gripping, great job!! :D :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Heather

11 Years Ago

no problem! i wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true!! :D
Azure Montessa (Blue)

11 Years Ago

I can always count on you for honest reviews, then! ;) Have a great weekend!
Heather

11 Years Ago

yep you sure can i will do thanks!! and you have a great weekend too!! :D
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Sue
I know this wrestle well - you have captured it brilliantly :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Azure Montessa (Blue)

11 Years Ago

Everybody wrestles with the inner demon. Thank you so much, Sue! :)
I love this. It is very powerful, resonating with descriptions of the tribulations all souls endure. And the last stanza is epic with its impact. I only have a tiny suggestion, if it doesn't screw up your meter:

"You strip me off of my heart"

I would simply remove the "off" to look like this:

You strip me of my heart

It sounds more elegant and fits more seamlessly into the stanza that way. The last line is wonderful. We are all caught in that conundrum: Janus, the two-faced god, represents the two sides many humans wrestle with, and your poem describes this perfectly. Sometimes we don't do right because it is right, but because it is the choice we battled for.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Azure Montessa (Blue)

11 Years Ago

This is such a detailed and encouraging review, Ann... thank you so much. :)
Wow! That's pretty powerful stuff! I hope it's not autobiographical!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Azure Montessa (Blue)

11 Years Ago

My poems mirror my life. :) thank you, Susan. :)
A very powerful poem along with its message...Bravo

Posted 11 Years Ago


Azure Montessa (Blue)

11 Years Ago

Thank you, Sami! :)
Sami Khalil

11 Years Ago

You are welcome...:)
Everyone has a dark side and It has to be controlled and contained. It is a very well constructed and clever. You are truly a unique and talented person.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Azure Montessa (Blue)

11 Years Ago

Donald, thank you for your beautiful words! :)
Half way through I figured it was you. we are without a doubt our worst enemy. When the Lord said we must forgive all I think he meant ourselves most of all.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Azure Montessa (Blue)

11 Years Ago

And that's the hardest thing to do. Glad you dropped by, Mike. :)
I agree with doc Wood, it is your best to date. Plumbing the depths of oneself is always precarious but it's probably better than walking around with a bag on your head and your hand over your heart... a silly way to say it perhaps but I'm sure you understand. How could you not? You wrote this really great snapshot/portrait of how everyone (probably) approaches self-doubt; with condemnation of the reflections we think/believe we see in ourselves. However, sometimes those things we believe are faults can sometimes turn out to be strengths and characteristics that are admired and emulated by others. Thus the doc's wisdom, "..sometimes aint wise to self analyse"; a second or third opinion helps smooth out the data set. OK, time to set WINDBAG = OFF. Good job, Blue.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Azure Montessa (Blue)

11 Years Ago

Tam!!!!!! You know how it feels like to be complimented my someone whose opinion you esteem? That's .. read more
Tam Warink

11 Years Ago

Well, thank you for sharing, really - but don't get too depressed if your next one stinks and I'm no.. read more
Agreed. Is dark but brimming with honesty, as you acknowledge the similarities of you and who is your "monster". The best writing doesn't fear humility, love this as always. .

Posted 11 Years Ago


Azure Montessa (Blue)

11 Years Ago

Thanks for your encouragement. I appreciate your reviews as always. :)

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1603 Views
65 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on October 3, 2013
Last Updated on October 3, 2013
Tags: monster, self, enemy, self-hate


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