I Died Today

I just wonder what happens when one dies.

I am Joyce.

I am eighteen.

I died today.

My life unfolds right before me,

scene after scene,

like a nonstop movie marathon.

From the very second I was conceived

til my raw death,

I see myself

and the people who'd been a part of my journey--

family...friends...strangers.

Everybody adored me

my family, neighborhood, town.

I was intelligent, sharp,

painfully honest,

and virtuous.

I graced the church with my presence

and impressed the heavens with my religiosity.

I was practically the kind of person

everyone dreamed to be,

a candidate for sainthood.

At a young age,

I had my own timeline of dreams:

finish college with honors,

marry a doctor,

raise five or seven kids,

be a philanthropist,

change the world.

My promising career was intricately laid out.

My monumental success

had been prophesied by everybody.

I knew death.

I knew everybody dies.

I knew it could happen to anyone

at any given time.

But I was young

and I was foolish.

I never considered it to happen to me.

Not this soon.

I can still remember that night

when death disguised itself as a beautiful dream.

I never woke up.

My parents found me lifeless that morning

--and man, did they weep.

I see them.

I see how they bleed tears.

I want to reach out to them

but that's not possible.

I am dead now...

The news of my death spreads like a wildfire

and everyone grieves for me

Some retreat in revered silence.

Some console themselves in each other's arms.

They revere my name like I'm a saint

equal to St. Therese of the Child Jesus.

And each person has a story to tell:

litany of the good acts I had done

and numerous virtues they swear I have.

I wonder if their praises

can give me access to heaven...

Now that my life has ended,

I see how each piece fit with another

like a perfect puzzle.

Seemingly insignificant things

serve their own purpose:

the delays, the unheard prayers,

the tears and the yawns.

Every flaw, every success

everything

makes up the blueprint

of who I was meant to be.

It all makes sense to me now.

I am Joyce

I am eighteen

I died today.

Author's Note

I know this is quite lengthy, so if you have finished reading this, well, CONGRATULATIONS! You have surpassed the trial! ;)

Anyway, this piece is very tricky for me. I honestly don't know what to think of this poem. And I'm not saying this to fish compliments, okay? I've been trying lots of things recently and I want honest opinions on the changes of my writing styles. (?)

Thank you very much! Your reviews never go unappreciated. :x

Reviews

[ASPAR (A Sol Poet Arnay..]

Oh my stars I read it all... but I want to know how this happened to Joyce? Well done I liked it a great deal the only change I would make is not using the word kid!.... thank you for the tag to read by the way, great work :) :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, thank you. You always read my work though I no longer send RRs. Best wishes. :)

[ASPAR (A Sol Poet Arnay Rumens)]

No really send the requests it prompts me to read, I am always so busy & I read rather a lot works, its nice to get the notification, thanks beautiful :)

[Kleio13]

i believe this is a great insight and prose-stricken-poem on what it's like for any young adult with the promise of a successful future without any realization until the end. You have a voice for insight and i see that prominently. Also, you show that evrything happens for a reason under god's will.

And i love how you had tied the ending well.
"I am Joyce
I am eighteen
I died today."

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you so much. :)

[Sarah Lynn]

Amazing poem! you're truly talented when it comes to writing . I enjoyed reading this, and let me tell you i dont go for long poems at all. This on the other hand was just great!

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Sarah, I'm not into long poems either but well... Haha. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. :)

[poetdoug]

Excellent perspective my friend. Well written for sure on a difficult subject for most

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you so much. :)

[Avinash]

At a young age,
I had my own timeline of dreams:
....Eternal lines.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, Avinash. :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Blue - This gives in the lines...I'm all for longer narratives...Good to read your work…Thanks for the invite to read your thoughts to paper at Writers Café...I'm back to work with copy writer and doing my best to write 1000 words a day...and a subject you do not get to choose...will be busy the next few months...so I will read all RR"s might just take a bit longer to get a review...hope you understand...plus promote my book: The Onyx - Vena Amoris...for late next month release…I have very little time on my hands…making the most of everyday and taking today to read as many as I can…keep writing and sharing your creative talent here and elsewhere…

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, Glen. Best wishes on your craft. :)

[The dark story]

Lengthy but so much worthy to read!! I liked the onset of the.poem and thesmooth flow of the descrption.
For me it is really elegant and descriptive!!

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you so much!! :)

[gombeggar]

I am Joyce.
I am eighteen.
I died today. ...this opening I think takes away from yer whole work because the whole rest of it is so nicely worked out

...ohh...and I applaud writers who take the thyme to write things out in length...otherwise we'd never had homer's odyssey or illiad among other great works of poetry and writ

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

I'd bear in mind never to worry about length.. Thanks a lot, Gombeggar! :)

[Einstein Noodle]

I do not find it lengthy (tho in lines it may be) because it is very straight forward. the subject is fertile ground, says i. I agree with TL's comments. death should be a daily prayer for all of us. we do everything we can (especially in USA) to avoid death and dying. we find it difficult to find knowing words when it touches our lives ... we don't study it. when dinosaurs roamed the earth anyone waking up must have been instantly aware of the danger... it really hasn't changed.. i am just meeting you so can not compare your other pieces but maybe writing this same poem using allegory and metaphor would challenge you. just a thought.
E.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, Einstein. :)

[ASPAR (A Sol Poet Arnay..]

Yes this was a lengthy read I was lost half way ' I think I was looking for words that flash the eyes & draw the brain to concentrate... Overall I rather like this thank you for sharing keep up the good work :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

I understand. Thank you so much. :)