To William

A message to a lover.

Please tell him I will miss him

When fate bids us apart

For though we love each other

Ours is a hopeless art.

The time with him I spent

Is best of all the  best

A "then" worth looking back

As bird longs for its nest.

This poem will cause him heartache

But dread not the goodbyes

I'm sure we're soulmates somewhere

Where our forever lies...

Author's Note

I challenged myself to write a poem in less than 10 minutes. This is what I've come up with.

P.S. William, I hope you get the chance to read this. :)

Reviews

[annie lee]

There is a very nice rhythm to this. But it is an embellishment of the age-old cliche of lover leaving lover. I think you are capable of escaping the cliche and expressing yourself more originally. Ten minutes is not a lot of time; I might write something in ten minutes, but I go back 10 x 10 times to revise, rip and rewrite.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Yes, I admit most of my poems are cliche, same old tales.. Hahaha. I'll try your suggestion to be original..

I don't usually revise my works that much. Mine is only 5 times at most. I love the thoughts of my first drafts and doing lots of editing and revisions ache my heart and my brain. ;) That explains why most of my poems are not well-thought. Thanks for this, Annie. Well-appreciated! :)

[Tam Warink]

You did good. Not too smarmy and with a nice touch of heart. You're still trying to straddle the centuries though; try to figure out which one you want to be in (for a work) and stay they - unless time travel is the goal.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

A million thanks, Tam. You sure give good reviews. ;)

[LQSwift]

Very creative. Poems are always a neat way to let someone know how you feel. I liked your poem.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

My poems had been criticized as "Greeting Cards" and not at all real poetry. Haha. Thanks for the appreciation! :)

[LQSwift]

seriously? wow!

[Angel]

I also hope that William gets the chance to read this bittersweet piece. He ought to know that he is loved...
This is lovely.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks, Angel! I appreciate this so much. :x

[Annabelle Lee]

this was fantastic, way to go

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks, Anna... :x

[chris36]

Good job I like the symmetry, and the flow of your work I give you a thumbs up!

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you so much, Chris! :x

[Jack...]

Beautifully executed my friend. For such a quick write it hold the depth of love up for all of us to see.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks for the positive feedback, Jack... :x

[Keith]

Great work, especially within the 10 minutes. This has a lovely soft flow and excellent rhyme. Thanks Blue.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Glad you enjoyed, Keith. Anyway, I think your avatar is sort of funny. I really love it! :x

[Keith]

Thanks Blue, I had a hair cut last week, do you think its too short?

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Do you have a photo of it? Wanna see...

[Keith]

The Avatar is after the cut.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Your hair is colored, too?

[Leeci]

aww, sad but sweet. I guess that's how life is sometimes, not everything works out the way we want it. In this case, you have to move on as reflected in your poem.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Yes, Leeci. Thank you so much! :x

[gabrielle]

this is penned in 10 minutes? wow.

a bittersweet content but wonderfully written.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks, Gabrielle. :x