Moth and Fire

A poem about the moth who fell in love with the fire.

Like a moth to the fire

I'm drawn to you

Captivated

Spellbound

By the passionate heat

The warmth

Of sweet temptation

Luring me

To come closer

To take a taste

To feel the fire

Of love and lust

And life and death

And my feeble silvery wings

Dance around you

Around and around

In sweet surrender

And worship

And desire

To dip my tongue

To your delicious flames

And feel your lethal kiss

Like a moth to the fire

I'm drawn to you

Like a moth to the fire

I love you

To my death.

Author's Note

This is my first time to write a free verse. (My comfort zone used to be a poem with rhymes.) I really have no idea if this one is good enough. Your comments would help me a lot. Thanks in advance. :)

Reviews

[Quoting Ravens]

Great analogy. Flows nicely

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you so much, Ravens! :*

[TrimarcoRansome]

This has a good flow to it, so yes it does work. It is simple in its construction which I like, the last few lines were an addition it didn't need, all that had been said within the poem and it took the flow from its steady stream. Other than that a really good poem, especially your first of this kind.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you so much! This means a lot to me. :)

[Great Aunt Astri]

Yes, I think this poem works really well. The first verse especially and I am not sure you actually need the last verse. What do you think?

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

I actually thought of that, too. I added the last verse because I want to emphasize by repetition the speaker's similarity to the moth. And the last line was to end the poem by letting the readers know that the moth died. Thank you so much, Great Aunt Astri. I appreciate your comments very much. :)

[anonimouss]

Amazing, you should continue writing like this! But... I'm not anyone to judge your work, you are too awesome.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you for your compliments, anonimouss. You always seem to have the right words to make my day. :)

[SyberRose]

Nicely penned free verse...Enjoyed your words Blue...Rose

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, Rose. I look forward to reading your poems, too. :)

[Relic]

I had some trepidation about free verse when I first started it too. You did a fine job on this and the passion and depth of the poem reflects the feelings of your status. (Beside your avatar). Great poem.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you very much, Relic. :)

[Relic]

You're welcome.

[Lianne]

I liked this a lot, definitely felt the passion from what you've written! good one :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

I appreciate this, thank you so much, lianne. :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Some fine flow here, but stay clear of hot stuff. lol. I enjoyed.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Haha. I will, Pryde. Thank you so much. Again. :)

[Sami Khalil]

Love can raise the fire of passions. You have penned a great one...:)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you so much, Sami. :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Dye]

You did a really good job. I tend to get stuck on rhymes as well but I feel like free verse is more liberating in a way. I find it's usually more truthful and less forced. I like this one, it had a nice flow and ending.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you so much, Dye! :)