When it's personal, like this one appears to be, I look to see if i can feel the emotion, passion, hurt...that they write about. You accomplished this. I also like that you didn't try to force a rhyme for rhymes sake. It's personal, it's real. You can't ask for much more. I like you kept a solid structure and good flow. I can't express this enough, poetry comes from inside. The more personal, the more I can see through your eyes the better for me. Don't be afraid to look outside the box and definately dont be afraid to cross lines. More importantly don't stop. Keep writing, there are no limits except your own. I like this, and now expect to see more.
For anyone that has been in a similar situation this gives the heart a little squeeze at past hurts. It's hard to forget, and I'm not sure if we always truly can - But we can fill our days with better-thans, and learn to forgive. I hope you can find forgiveness - it'll free you more than anything. But as for this poem, it conveys that feeling of chest-compression that comes with loss very well. Write on.
The best writing is done when we feel profoundly...usually when we're hurting real bad. It's like the soul needs a way to release the pain, the mind a way of understanding the cause. The poetry thats remembered is the genuine works. The brutally honest pieces...and you've captured that here. You expressed your hurt and confusion,your frustration and growing anger, so well that I feel it when i read . Great read.
Let your experience teach you, and try not to hate. Love even when the love is not returned because hate will destroy you.
You are not alone in that search for closure. I, too, have been on that search ending just recently. You end up feeling like the one who said he/she would love you no matter what and throws you away like a used napkin, it's always going to be painful and you search for that ending in yourself. I must say you have characterized the search very well and caputured the feeling of desperation. Very well done.
PS- keep your chin up, don't let him/her get the best of you.
wow! i really liked reading this because its so real. Im not a big fan of all the fake descriptions written on this site but it doesnt get much realer than this. I dont know if realer is a word lol but anyway great write. :)
This is powerful. I like the flow and the nice structure. Poetry is all about whats going on in your life and definatly comes from deep within, maybe where we may not want to go alot. Poems dont always rhyme, esspessally not ones like this so i like the risk. Cross lines and take more risks like this and your work will be excellent.
I am fresh out of college. My B.A. is in English and Secondary Education. I have a passion for writing and literature.
There are things known, and there are things unknown, and in between are the .. more..