Complex Personalities

just a story i had to do for english =]

Ashley Bollinger

January 26, 2010

Complex Personalities

            She waited, listening to the systematic ring. They seemed to get farther apart the longer she pressed the phone to her ear. Finally an answer.

            “Hello?”

            “Momma,” it was a sigh of relief; a moment of comfort.

            “Sara, what’s going on?” Mothers know when something is wrong with their kids.

            Sara contemplated what to say. So did her secret keeper. How is this real?

            It had started off just like any other day. The below the apartment had been as loud as ever. Coffee had filtered throughout the house, a subtle reminder of the harsh cold outside. The Monday morning sunrise flooded the windows and spilled onto the soft cotton covers; soaked up by her skin. She could hear Ryan scuffling around in the kitchen trying to leave for work on time. Sara hated that he had to leave early in the morning, it made waking up depressing.

“Baby I gotta go!” She heard the door slam and his muffled “Love ya!” Nothing was odd or out of place. Her eyes flickered and she felt like she was falling.

            Anna finally moaned and gave in to the urge to get up. She slugged her way to the coffee pot, glaring at the sunshine pouring in the windows. She was actually happy to have the house all to herself in the morning because she usually wasn’t very upbeat. A night on the town is her kind of thing. Getting up to do a job she hated and couldn’t even function properly at. Not so much. Winter crept its way to her skin, stealing her body heat and gaining her hatred. What made winter even worse for her was taking the bus with a bunch of strangers all hustling to move forward with their lives.

Standing at the kitchen counter and lost in thought, Anna sipped her morning boost; dread of the bus ride put her out of her good mood. Eventually she got around to actually trying to wake up and start the normal morning routine by taking an outrageously long bath to try and add more warmth to her body so that maybe today, the air might not be so threatening.

Mid bath, her cell phone rang, clanking around on the sink. She lazily stretched her arm out and grabbed it, looked at the number and sighed.

“Hello.”

“Hey,” honey that fake smile in your voice ain’t fooling no one she thought. “I forgot to mention that I was gonna be home late tonight.”

“Um, ok. I’ll just go out tonight then.”

“Alright, good for you. Gotta go.” The phone went dead.

            She looked at the clock ticking away on the wall, “Great,” almost a laugh, “I missed the bus”. She plunged under the water for several seconds. Then came up coughing  and eyes flickering.

            Sara sat on the faded bench at the bus stop, her long blond hair being caressed by the wind. Her eyes wondered, trying to latch on to something to distract her. A father was trying to keep control of his kids that were jumping and climbing on anything they could. This warmed Sara’s heart, to see a caring father in life. It was something strange to her because her father was never around that she could remember, just her mom and sister Jen. Sara coughed.

            The bus pulled up, a sorry excuse for public transportation. The years and people had definitely had their toll on the poor thing. There wasn’t a spot that wasn’t lathered in rust or sprinkled with dirt. The engine was thunder in their ears. She sat and watched everyone else board the bus before she got up and walked up the steps.

            Every seat had been taken and a few people were standing, gripping the metal bars above to keep them up right as the bus lurched forward. Anna didn’t sway but just kept walking toward the back of the bus, ignoring those around her. She had a disturbed feeling. There was just something about being stuck in a small space with a bunch of strangers and every sing one of them judging her and ever one else in their sight felt wrong. With a sigh she grabbed hold of the bar and stared out the window trying not to bring attention to her. She didn’t enjoy talking to strangers, none of them really listened.

            A woman on the other side of the aisle a few feet up was staring at her, looking away quickly when Anna noticed. Anna didn’t look at her for fear of making the woman think it was ok to bug her with routine questions. That’s another thing about strangers, none are original. Still the woman looked at her. Then finally, the woman got the nerve to make her way back toward Anna and fill in the space in front of Anna. “Oh great,” she tried to look at her with a friendly smile.

            “Sara!” The woman was in her early twenties with expensive clothes and long red hair. To Anna she obviously she was confused. The only thought to cross her mind was that maybe all the hair on her head interfered with the operation of her brain.

            “I’m not Sara.” She was direct and simple. The woman looked confused and taken aback for a moment.

            “What are you talking about?” Her face had waved eye brows and a half smile as if she thought she was kidding.

            Anna’s eyes flickered and confusion swarmed them. “What?”

            The woman looked out of her element. “Sara, are you alright?”

            “Don’t start Donna, please. I’m just off today.” It was a lie to herself more than Donna.

            “I’m just saying-” at that moment the bus came to its next stop. She looked out the window and into the corner coffee shop to see a recognizable face with it welcoming arms stretched out for another woman. Sara’s heart sank through the dingy floor on to the street to be run over by the wheels of the bus. She felt like she was falling.

            “Did you hear anything I just said?” Donna’s face was written in worry but Sara didn’t care. “Sara!”

            “I told you, I’m not Sara,” Anna was in control and on her way to the front of the bus shoving people out of the way. When she stepped off she immediately turned in the opposite direction away from the two lovers.

            She had walked to work and sat in her corner office, mind wondering about anything but her current surroundings. Sara dazed through the day, not responding when someone said something to her or asked for her advice on something. All she was concerned about was getting home and to insure she did, she left 3 hours early.

            When she opened the door to her apartment, she heard muffled laughter. Sara eased the door shut behind her, securing it softly. She shrugged off her coat while walking slowly into the open living room where she let it cascade to the floor. Sara continued her slow pace across the room and down the hallway. With every step, the voices became clearer and more distinct. She could hear Ryan, tenderness in is voice, sweet talk. Then, the voice of a girl who talked through her nose and laughed a little too loud.

            Sara now stood in the door frame of their bed room where before her she gazed at the bare back of a woman lying in Sara’s expensive sheets like they were her own. Ryan walked out of the master bathroom with a towel round his waist.

            “Sara…your home early,” shock in is voice and steamed over his face.

            “No,” she stated, “Anna is home early.”

Sara sat in a chair staring at the floor in the middle of the living room in her apartment. What happened; a question in her mind that rang of the inner workings. The stained hands a vague reminder without a memory attached. They were also a threat, a dare to see what they had done. She couldn’t move her eyes from the space between her feet, carving out the lines in the wood with her eyes over and over unable to stop the motion. To look around meant to find a nightmare.

Come on. Her voice an innocent whisper crawling in her mind; clawing and digging.

She moved her head side to side like a slow swinging pendulum. The horrid smell dragged into her nose, gagging her. Sara stood up and dragged her gaze across the floor to the mirror on the wall in front of her. She saw a young woman stained by the others mistakes. She stared.

I don’t have to tell you this one, she cooed, you were there.

The memories came flooding back with a sea of violence. They pulled their strings taut, showing they were hers and there to stay. A state of pure shock again, it takes will power to take the thriving pulse out of someone. But then maybe after the first time it gets easier like telling a lie or the first tango with heroin.

            Those we’ll share.

“Why?” Sara broke eye contact with the carbon copy on the wall and fell cross legged on the floor, fingers running through her hair, her body slightly rocking. “Why do you exist?”

She already knew the answer; she made her long ago when daddy hugged her close. Anna held them all, the nightmares, because she was strong. She is the darkest secret, one Sara couldn’t admit to herself. Guess that’s the thing about lying to yourself, you can never give the last push needed to be convincing enough to believe.

Sara jumped up and ran for the phone. She picked it up and started pressing buttons. She waited, listening to the systematic ring. They seemed to get farther apart the longer she pressed the phone to her ear; finally an answer.

            “Hello?”

            “Momma,” it was a sigh of relief; a moment of comfort.

            “Sara, what is going on?” That’s the thing about mothers, they always know when something’s up with you.

            Even through the flash back, she came up with nothing to say. “I-”, she paused, “nothing momma, just missed you”. How can someone tell their mother they have killed someone?

            “I don’t believe you; I’m coming over in the morning.”

            “No,” she hung up and reached for her coat, throwing it around her body, and walked out the front door leaving her newest secret behind.

            What do I do? She was panicking. Her eyes flickered.

            We switch over.

Author's Note

again, typos =] this is only the first draft

Reviews

[bamm]

wow. my English teachers name is Ashley Bollinger. i totally thought you were her

[Legion]

I wasn't going to read this tonight. About to go to bed, but something about it pulled me in. Glad I did. An excellent piece for your assignment. Duality and self-preservation are an interesting combo. I hope you got a good grade on this (if it was for a grade). Kudos to you. Keep on writing.

[SM Davis]

This is well done. It is a bit wordy in the middle, but all in all, I really like the story so far.

[An owl on the moon]

Very intricate, gripping write. Seemed to flow so vibrantly through thoughts and feelings, that sense of others judging and then looking deep within oneself. Powerful story!

[Sean M. Addams]

this was very cool and suspenseful mighty good for a rough draft... overall i thought this was great storyline was interesting and detail in this was good..nice work!!