Colors of the wind

Trying abstract.

You try to create nature and you triumph,
You raise your hands and you're forgiven;
For every little deed when your fate becomes your faith,
It's your life towards which you're driven.


You tell me to imagine the finest picture of life,
Each time you teach me how to paint;
I try to create with the wild hue of the wind,
And with a swift of its gloss, sheer and quaint.


The color suddenly dissolves,
The tinge abruptly disappears;
Amongst the finest it stands blank and,
Plain without any smears.


You disperse the light and form seven wonders,
You need no compass for directions;
For none of your reality was your dream,
And none of your failures had objections.


You tell me to blend with life,
And to dream like never before;
To soar high like the firework,
To dance like water on the shore.


But life follows me wherever I take refuge,
It invites me to drink the potion of death,
And unravels my soul,
Before my last breath.


Why is that your philosophy is not understood?
Why is that I'm not given what I ask?
Why is that your life doesn't even lose to your death?
Why is that I can't paint with the colors of the wind?

Reviews

[David Benson]

*o my gosh*

"I try to create with the wild hue of the wind"

Can I stop here and tell you just how much I wish that I'd written that line?

"And with a swift of its gloss, sheer and quaint."

Your choice of words, phrasing and images is amazing. I feel it. I see it. Those choice take me into a mad whirl of ... well ... just everything!

I like the rhyme scheme that you've set up in this work. It is so unobtrusive that I didn't even notice it on first read. Only as I dug into the work did I notice the rhymes. They are clever and speak much to your talent.

I'm not a fan of ending poetry with questions, but yours speak to me. I do wonder at "Why is" as it doesn't seem to lend itself correctly. i.e. - "Why is that I can't paint with the colors of the wind?" Shouldn't that be "Why isn't it that I can't paint with the colors of the wind?" or Why is it that I can't paint with the colors of the wind?"

You've taken my breath away with this work.

[kuru]

this was nicely written with an amazing flow..great insights into life "to dance like water on the shore" loved that line alot!

[.]

A really impressive write..your stanza stand alone and are insightful, deep and breathtaking in thoughtfulness..wonderful poem

[Talal Tashfeen]

You disperse the light and form seven wonders,
You need no compass for directions;
For none of your reality was your dream,
And none of your failures had objections.

Best stanza ever!

[MissWordSmith]

My god this was outstanding.
The last stanza just left me astounded at your ability to ... paint with words.
:)

"Why is that your life doesn't even lose to your death?'
When I write something as amazing as that line... I'll be the happiest person on earth.

[c.m.]

You disperse the light and form seven wonders,
You need no compass for directions;
For none of your reality was your dream,
And none of your failures had objections.

That's quite the stanza....and I must say, though I don't particularly care for rhyming in most cases, I did enjoy it here. You are better at it than most. This is an awesome poem, with a grabbing title. Very, very nice.

[Khaaki]

u r an excellent artist... dis poem grows on my mind with every reading... jab zouq badha to khushbayaani aayi, phir behr-e-tabiyyat mei ravaani aayi... dIS POEM is jus amazing...

[Dinesh Sairam]

"You tell me to blend with life,
And to dream like never before;
To soar high like the firework,
To dance like water on the shore."

A well-admired poem, no doubt. Still, I wish a correction and oneness in meter and quatrains. And that, the last four lines must be rhymed too (And maybe better trimmed as a couplet). No more buffs I believe. Enjoyed very much.

Keep writing.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Your teknik is Amazing.
I loved the portrait you have
painted with your words.

[Cynthia]

SUCH A GREAT PEICE OF WRITING!!!!!
This deserves a publish, I agree.

[Sweets]

this is stunning....
It's such a great piece of work that deserves to be published and shelved on #1 bestsellers!!!!
It's so amazing
Adding it to my library :)
100/100